


Jimmy Is Still Here

by DeeliciousBaby



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas ain't embarrassed, Codependency, Lets embarrass Castiel, Lost in the Woods, M/M, Mmmm lets talk dirty about Dean, Panic Attacks, Possessive Castiel, Possessive Jimmy, Separation Anxiety, Who knew Jimmy was such a pervert?, oh crap, separated Jimmy and Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-07 02:57:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1882512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeeliciousBaby/pseuds/DeeliciousBaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jimmy gave his consent the second time around, it seemed as if the brothers had forgotten about him. But Jimmy was still there- silently (or maybe not so silently in Castiel's opinion) watching over Dean. There isn't much to do when you're riding shotgun in your own body while an angel is at the wheel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this basically happened while I'm having writers block for my story Ink Me Baby One More Time.  
> I can read, describe, envision, and even talk about some hot gay man lovin all day long. But when it comes to putting it on paper in a way that correctly conveys exactly what I want? A little harder than I would like ti to be.

Castiel is used to Jimmy's commentary. Or at least, he tells himself he is. But really, you can’t lie to the voice/soul/whatever that you’re currently sharing a vessel with.

 

_God damn look at Dean in those jeans._

 

He just wished the guy would stop blasphemy-ing.

 

_Oh you know you love it. Oh god he's bending over._

 

Cas didn’t respond to that. But his eyes did slide down to visually caress Dean’s pert ass as he bent down to pick up a box. Honestly he should tell the hunter to bend at the knees and not to lift with his back...but then he wouldn’t get the view.

 

_And its a damn fine view._

 

-

 

When Cas had first taken over Jimmy’s body, the man had been a quiet, god loving, good man. The night he first met Dean had Jimmy stuttering in his head.

 

_Dear sweet God he's beautiful._ He had said.

 

When Uriel started threatening Dean, Cas got mad. How dare he threaten his charge. But Jimmy? Jimmy was furious.

 

_Excuse him? Does he even know what all Dean does? FUCK OFF URIEL._

 

He tried and succeeded at not laughing at that.

 

When Anna showed up, Jimmy became...possessive. 

 

_Who the hell does that BITCH think she is, sleeping with our man?!_

 

Cas would not- could not- comment on that claim. Obviously Dean was his, he had marked Dean’s soul with his grace. He had no idea Jimmy felt the same though. And when they saw Anna kiss Dean, when Jimmy realized they had slept together, he had all but fought for control of the vessel. Jimmy managed to glare hate at Anna before Cas took control once more. It took days before Jimmy spoke to him again. But Cas could feel the man’s soul relish in the killing of Anna.

 

Overtime, his commentary started coming more and more. and it stopped being as...innocent.

 

_I wonder how many freckles he has on his body? Oh but you already know since you put him back together, huh Cas. I wonder if he has any new ones?_

 

_Oooo look, you stared too long again! He’s so cute when he blushes. I wonder how far down that blush goes…_

 

_Look at those bow legs...so perfect and ready to wrap around our waist._

 

_Look at him...moaning and eating that pie. I bet we can make him moan louder._

 

When Dean had talked about saying yes to Michael, BOTH OF THEM saw red. It was Jimmy’s idea to beat the everlasting fuck out of him. And at first, Castiel objected. Until he realized that was the only way Dean would listen. And it was Jimmy who technically hit him- Castiel’s strength would have made Dean’s face explode on impact. But Castiel did the talking.

 

Calling Lucifer an Assbutt...well...that was all Castiel.

 

_Really? Assbutt?_

 

Dean had mirrored Jimmy’s sentiment without knowing and Cas had shrugged at both of them. 

 

When Lucifer made Castiel go boom...well they both had panicked. Jimmy had gotten used to Castiel. Attached to him. And Castiel had to Jimmy. Lucifer had not only exploded Jimmy’s body, but him soul AND Castiel as well. 

 

For one brief, terrifying moment the two thought they would never see each other again. And the fear increased tenfold when the thought of never seeing Dean again passed through their consciousness. And suddenly they were back, as one, and caressing Dean’s face to heal him. They might have touched his face longer than necessary. Maybe. They totally did. And they would’ve continued had Bobby not interrupted.

 

But the only thought in their mind was how beautiful Dean was.

 

Seeing Dean with Lisa made Castiel’s blood boil. And it made Jimmy seethe with rage. it was the darkest the angel had ever seen his soul. 

 

Jimmy hated Lisa. 

 

According to him, Lisa was a _‘Man stealing cunt who should have her toenails ripped out and shoved into her eye sockets for ever laying a hand on their Dean.’_ Like he said, it was a dark time for Jimmy.

 

And then Dean was back and Jimmy’s comments were back too. With a vengeance. Because Jimmy felt that if he could not physically touch Dean, he could mentally touch him. It started with Dean licking his upper lip.

 

_Such a naughty boy, using that tongue against me. I would put it to good use, both that tongue and that sinful mouth. Have it wrapped around my cock as I fucked that pretty face. I’d make him gag on it and then lick my cum off those pretty lips._

 

And then it was stretching after a long drive.

 

_Oh yes, show me that body baby. Stretch out all those muscles for me. I could help you know- rub you all over. Have you craving my hands everywhere. I’d get you so undone with just my fingertips, on and in you, have you begging for it._

 

And of course the pie. The fucking pie that Dean can’t help but moan for every time he eats it.

 

_God yes baby, moan for me. I wanna hear you scream Dean- scream my name. I want to pound into that ass until you cry and your throat is raw from hours of screaming. I want to hear every little noise- beg, whimper, keen and moan you can give me._

 

Jimmy hated that Castiel was lying to Dean. That he lied about Sam. That he lied about Crowley. Jimmy _hated_ Crowley. Said the Scottish prick deserved to have his ass filleted and his dark soul destroyed in the most painful way possible- holy water, salt, burning his stupid bones- you name it.

 

And when Castiel went all pseudo-God? He had pushed Jimmy into a far corner of his mind. Or rather, the leviathan did. Jimmy’s body was too full. It warped Castiel- warped his very being. It damn near ruined Jimmy. Because he was not only separated from the angel, but from the human that kept him sane.

 

_Stop Castiel, please stop._

 

But he couldn’t. Not when he wasn’t _him_. When they ended up in purgatory, Jimmy had been so...well he couldn’t say happy. By the time Jimmy was mentally aware again, Castiel had separated himself from Dean. Ignored Dean’s prayers. And the two finally had some alone time.

 

_I hate you._

 

It was the only thing Jimmy said to Castiel the whole time in Purgatory. Until Dean showed up.

 

_Oh thank God, Dean is here! And-- who the FUCK is that with him?_

 

Jimmy hated Benny from the start. That didn’t change when Benny saved them from being leviathan dinner. That didn't change while they crawled through Purgatory together. And it sure as hell got worse when he heard about Benny being _inside_ of Dean in order to get out.

 

_Benny ain’t getting anywhere in or on my man!_ Castiel had shared that settlement. And then Castiel was letting go of Dean’s hand and Dean was safe outside of purgatory. 

 

Castiel and Jimmy cried that day. 

 

Naomi was something they weren’t expecting. While they were in heaven, Jimmy stayed quiet. No one knew that the human had survived the death by Lucifer all that time ago, and they planned to keep it that way. But every time they visited that woman, Jimmy stayed away, glaring hate at that woman.

 

Killing all those Deans broke Jimmy. Every time Castiel took the life of one, he felt Jimmy go dark inside of him. It took hours after each kill to console the man, Cas whispering that it was a fake Dean over and over until the soul was bright again. 

 

When he was punching Dean in the face, beating him to death under Naomi’s spell, Jimmy was sobbing. And if Cas were able, he would’ve been as well. That night haunted them for months. and honestly, it still did. It was something they never wanted to do again.

 

But they earned Dean’s trust back. Little by little.

 

Then Metatron happened.

 

And then the angels fell.


	2. Wakey Wake WHY THE FUCK AM I NAKEY!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel was alone.
> 
> For the first time in years.
> 
> It was unsettling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? I know, I know, this thing was originally supposed to be a oneshot. But the ideas kept flowing!
> 
> Stop judging me and read.

“Ow ow ow ow _OW_.” It hurt. What hurt? Everything. Everything fucking hurt. And why does everything hurt?

 

Because he is Jimmy.

 

And Jimmy’s life sucks.

 

With a loud and probably unnecessary groan he sat up, rubbing at his throbbing head. It freakin HURT. With an annoyed whine he sat up, opening his eyes to gauge what the fuck just hit him.

 

And that’s when it (metaphorically) hit him.

 

Jimmy was sitting up.

 

Jimmy was looking around. 

 

JIMMY WAS IN CONTROL.

 

With a panicked gasp he twisted and turned, using his entire body to check the random wooded clearing he found himself in. Where the fuck was he? Why the fuck was he in control? His breaths came in short pants and he was dimly aware that he was close to having a panic attack. _‘Castiel_??’ He tried to nudge the angel’s consciousness in his mind. Something that he had done countless times over the years.

 

But there was nothing.

 

His mind was empty. 

 

Castiel was _gone._

 

“CASTIEL?!” Now he was panicking. He couldn’t control his breathing. Tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to stand but everything _hurt_ and he couldn’t stand. The sun was too bright. His skin was too sensitive. He could hear EVERYTHING. Feel EVERYTHING. He didn’t like it. 

 

He wanted to go back into his mind and hide.

 

He tried. Oh god he tried. But there was no angel to push to the front. No tower of grace that he could hide behind. A loud sob escaped his throat as he curled up, wrapping his arms around his head. He couldn’t do this.

 

Block it out. Its not real. None of it’s real. 

 

No matter how many times he told himself that, it wasn’t true. Jimmy KNEW all this was real. And it hurt. He cried. He wanted Castiel. He didn’t want to be alone.

 

“Please Cas, _please_...”

 

-

 

The first thing Castiel felt was confusion. And THEN came the pain. Because a delay of pain made it sooo much better. Curious blue eyes scanned his surroundings, noting all the trees around him. Why were they in a forest? ‘ _Jimmy_?’ Maybe he would know? Maybe Castiel had passed out at one point and led himself here? He wasn’t worried at the lack of immediate response. Even Jimmy sometimes took time to himself. 

 

But a response never came.

 

‘ _Jimmy_??’ Still no response. Castiel gently prodded to where Jimmy’s soul typically rested. Only to come up empty. And Castiel panicked.

 

“Jimmy?!” Cas ran his hands all over his body, checking for injuries to explain just WHY Jimmy wasn’t there. But he found nothing. Not even a scratch. Slowly he stood, hissing as his legs protested from disuse. His eyes scanned the immediate area again, looking for possible enemies. 

 

But there was no one.

 

Castiel was alone.

 

For the first time in _years_.

 

It was unsettling.

 

“ _CASTIEL_?!” The sound of his name being called had him on high alert. The rough voice sounded familiar and it both relaxed and put him on edge. But there was panic in that voice. Fear. Castiel didn’t want fear in that voice. Ignoring the pain in his legs he staggered across the clearing, leaning on trees, bushes, vines, ANYTHING to help him get towards that voice. The sounds of crying soon followed and he sped up, adrenalin pushing away his own pain and fear. 

 

Somebody was hurt. 

 

Someone was calling for him.

 

“ _Please Cas, please_ …” Only three people called him that and it sent Cas into a frenzy. With one last push he shoved his body through some bushes, wincing was they pulled and scraped against his clothing. 

 

And paused.

 

Because right there in front of him was Jimmy.

 

A very naked and scared and crying Jimmy.

 

It took him a moment to look down and -yeah, this is the same vessel he’s been in for years. What in the fuck? With a determined stride he crossed the remaining distance and scooped up the hysterical man, holding him close.

 

“I’m here Jimmy, I’m here.” It was so utterly human, what he was doing. But the deep baritone of his voice seemed to calm them, the familiar sound soothing his panicked mind. Gently they rocked, taking comfort from one another until finally Jimmy let out a shuddering breath, looking up to who was holding him.

 

And it was comical just how fast he jumped up and away.

 

“Cas??” It was eerie, looking at yourself when a reflective surface isn’t involved. Especially if your other self is not moving in tandem with you. Or wearing clothes. Or IS wearing clothes and you aren’t. Depending on which one you are.

 

“It’s me Jimmy.” It was redundant to say but speaking those words aloud seemed to calm Jimmy even more. And whatever it took to calm the man, he would do.

 

“What the hell happened? Why are you...there?” It was a good question. One that Castiel couldn’t answer. Had they been attacked? Was it a spell? The last thing he remembered was falling…

 

Metatron.

 

Shit.

 

They both seemed to come to the realization at the same time. Though it didn’t make sense. Why would falling separate them? Not even Lucifer blowing him up accomplished that.

 

“Are you injured?” Jimmy winced, shifting to cover himself. Not necessarily for modesty purposes (because honestly at this point that would just be stupid) but to shield himself from the sunlight, air, too crisp of grass… How the hell do you say you are but you aren’t hurt? 

 

“Everything is...sensitive.” And that seemed to be enough for Cas, if his look of intense concentration was anything to go by. Then again, he got the same look when studying ants or deciding what flavor of pie to buy Dean so its really not that comforting.

 

He just wished it didn’t _hurt._

 

He also wished that when Cas through his trench coat around him, he didn’t shriek like a girl because he was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice the angel take it off. And Cas (the smug bastard) simply smirked at him. But the coat provided a layer of protection from the elements- something that made him super freaking happy. While it was neither cold nor super warm, the layer dulled the feeling of _everything touching him_. Which was more than he could hope for at the moment. But they had no food, no shelter, and if Jimmy remembered correctly, Castiel was now human.

 

“We need Dean.” It wasn’t a suggestion. They NEEDED Dean. Cas did. Jimmy did. Not getting ahold of Dean was not an option. But Cas set his jaw, glaring at him. And he knew that look. It was a look he’d seen on himself many times all those years ago. Coupled with the fact that he knew Castiel inside and out, Jimmy simply glared back.

 

Fucking stubborn angel.

 

“We are not an inconvenience to him.” Now Cas looked away. He was EXASPERATING! “We _aren’t_ Castiel. Dean cares about us. And we are human and I am naked and we are in an unknown location and-” shit, that was his stomach. “-and I am hungry. So WE _NEED_ DEAN.” He put up a good argument. He knows he did. 

 

5...4...3...2…

 

“Okay fine.” Jimmy smiled. 

 

He knew Castiel too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So OBVIOUSLY I'm going to write more. Because that would be a shitty way to end this thing. I have a general idea of where I want to take this but I may need a beta. I guess let me know if anyone is interested?
> 
> Rate n' Review y'all.


	3. Let Us Wander Through The Dark Scary Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They need to find their way to civilization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the long awaited chapter!

Jimmy has never had a problem with nudity. Yes, while married he had to tone it down. Especially once his daughter was born. Can’t go flashing the child. But the point is, Jimmy actually LIKES being naked. Or LIKED being naked. You can’t really enjoy being naked if you have no physical body to be naked with. But now he has a body.

 

And all he wants is more clothes.

 

Because being naked in the middle of the woods? 

 

Not so fun.

 

Yes, he had the trench coat. But the feeling of shrubbery cutting into his legs because of lack of pants, bugs biting at every inch of available skin, and, oh yeah, _his balls sticking to his legs because of sweat_? Not comfortable. At all.

 

And if not for the fact that they were actually heading into a direction with a PLAN, Jimmy would have broken down and thrown a tantrum ( _a very manly tantrum, thank you_ ) by now. But as it was, Jimmy was actually getting them out of this mess. Because he was an eagle scout at one point. And eagle scouts knew how to navigate woods, read moss to see which way north was, and avoid poisonous looking plants.

 

Go him.

 

Plus, with him being all helpful at the moment, it starved off the panic clawing at his mind. 

 

What panic?

 

Well they were naked (well, he was naked...mostly naked), unarmed, in the middle of some shitass forest, with no food or water. And they were still HERE because Castiel couldn’t poof them away. They knew Metatron wanted all angels out of heaven. They just really didn’t discuss what that meant for Cas. Was he human now? FULLY human? Did he need to eat? Sleep? Poop?

 

Did Castiel even know what pooping was?

 

THIS is the panic that Jimmy was fighting off. And the blank look on Castiel’s face told Jimmy that the angel was doing the same.

 

Jimmy’s feet were cut up and they hurt. Hell, EVERYTHING HURT. His hunger was back with a vengeance and he blamed the fact that Castiel never ate when he was an angel. Why was it fair that only Jimmy had to suffer? 

 

The first time Castiel’s stomach growled had both of them freezing in fear.

 

Because they had a reason to panic after all.

 

Castiel was human.

 

They wandered for HOURS.

 

Until the sun that had just risen when they woke up was low in the sky. A whole new type of fear settled into Jimmy’s bones as the forest around them became darker and harder to maneuver in. He stumbled more and so did Castiel. Soon they were holding hands- yes it slowed them down more but the peace of mind it gave them was more than worth it. The night was brisk and for the millionth time Jimmy cursed the lack of clothing. Not that it was COLD, but it certainly wasn’t pleasant.

 

By the time the sun had been down for an hour, Jimmy resigned himself to the fact that they were going to be sleeping outside that night. Neither of them were happy about it- mostly Castiel. He hadn’t said much since they started moving and it was really starting to worry Jimmy.

 

“We’ll camp here.” _Here_ , was, well, the base of a huge ass tree. Like, HUGE ASS. It reminded them of the trees that grew in Purgatory. Or what an angel’s grace turns into when it is banished to Earth. It was already dark so it wasn’t like they could go forage for food, and they were not going to start a fire. One, it wasn’t necessary for warmth. And two, it could possibly draw unwanted attention.

 

From humans, animals, or none of the above.

 

With a sigh, they gently lowered themselves to the ground. It took a few minutes since all they had was the moonlight as their aid, but they finally brushed away all loose leaves, rocks, twigs, and one lone bird feather. The moss and grass underneath was soft to the touch and while it wasn’t memory foam, it was better than nothing. They lay facing each other, the blue of each other’s eyes standing out in the dark. 

 

Its then Jimmy realizes Castiel is trembling.

 

And so is he.

 

Fuck it.

 

Resolve broken, Jimmy grabs Cas and pulls their bodies flush, wrapping his arms around him. Their bodies are identical, even the way they shiver is mirrored by the other. But the reasons are totally different.

 

Time passes by slowly and Jimmy figures the newly-human Castiel was asleep.

 

“I’m _so sorry_ Jimmy.” Which is why it was totally legitimate to yelp in surprise. Chuckling, Castiel buries deeper into Jimmy’s neck, giving in to his need for contact.

 

It was so _utterly human._

 

“Why are you apologizing Cas? You did nothing wrong.” That was well...a lie. And they both knew it. This whole thing with Metatron was Castiel’s fault. But Jimmy wasn’t going to kick the guy when he’s down.

 

“I said I would protect you. Keep you safe. And now I’m-” he couldn't say it. He refused to say it. Castiel is- was- an angel that is (was?) millenia old. He knew that even if he didn’t say it, it didn’t mean it wasn’t true. Still...he refused.

 

Jimmy snorted.

 

“You had no idea Metatron was such a mega douche until it was too late. You were trying to do the right thing. You always are.”

 

Cas sniffed.

 

“It sure doesnt feel like the right thing now.”

 

“Well that is because you’re cold and hungry and sleepy and-” Jimmy stopped. Crap.

 

_And human._

 

He didn’t say it.

 

But he didn’t need to.

 

“Do you think it is permanent?” That’s it. That is what it all boils down to. And Jimmy wonders the same thing. Will he be...real again? Have a body? Will he continue to be able to touch Cas like this?

 

Jimmy sighs, placing a kiss on top of Castiel’s head. Its a soothing gesture. Something that was done to him by his parents, something he did to his wife and daughter, and now apparently something he does with Castiel. 

 

It should scare him- how easy it was to be this way with Cas. But they had been together for 5 years now. Through things that so many people wouldn't even understand. They knew each other. Inside and out. Castiel knew his every thought, feeling, memory, and emotion. Jimmy had seen, felt, and been apart of Castiel’s grace. He’d seen memories of places that humans could only dream about. And while he couldn't contain all these memories (after all, he IS only human and humans have a brain capacity limit) there are certain ones that stick out to him.

 

So they knew each other. 

 

Relied on each other.

 

Why would it be any different now that Jimmy had his own body again?

 

So with that somewhat soothing thought in mind both men drifted off, arms and legs entwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it was a wee bit shorter than I intended. But it seemed like a good stopping place in my head. The next chapter is partially done all ready and if it makes sense, chapter 4 is already completed so maybe I'll upload them both at the same time? Idk.
> 
> Rate n' Review.


	4. Knock on -MORNING- Wood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New favorites list:
> 
> 1\. Sex (preferably with Dean)  
> 2\. Waking up with someone in your arms  
> 3\. Waking up outdoors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH FINALLY AN UPDATE!

There was one thing Jimmy loved most about being human. 

 

And no, it was not sex.

 

...okay there were TWO things Jimmy loved most about being human.

 

One, was sex. Obviously. Preferably with Dean Winchester at the moment.

 

Second, was waking up outdoors. Hell, it was why he became an eagle scout in the first place. Camping with his dad was his favorite thing. And that favorite thing carried on through adulthood until Castiel had taken over. And here? Now? Waking up to the sun rising above him was absolute perfection. With a low groan he nuzzled into the warmth in front of him, tightening his arms around the warm body.

 

Oh god, he forgot how good it felt to wake up with someone.

 

New favorites list:

1\. Sex (preferably with Dean)  
2\. Waking up with someone in your arms  
3\. Waking up outdoors

 

Yeah, that sounds better.

 

A low groan escaped his throat as Castiel shifted in his sleep, pressing back completely against him. And his morning wood. Ah yes, how could he ever forget _this_ particular joy of being human? His hips thrust forward of their own accord, brushing his erection against a trouser covered ass and another groan slips past his lips. 

 

“ _Fuck_.” If it had been anyone else, Jimmy would have been mortified at his actions. But this was _Castiel_. The angel he had been, and will always be, irrevocably tied to. The angel that he had been through so much with for so long. His hand slid down to grab the identical hips and pressed hard into Castiel’s pert ass. Now Jimmy was not a vain man per say, but he knew he was hot. He knew he had a delicious ass. And feeling his rock hard cock rub against it only confirmed that fact. 

 

“Jimmy?” A confused, half awake call signaled Castiel’s awakening, along with a small hip wiggle. And Jimmy’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. A small growl left his lips as he buried his face into the back of Cas’ neck, nipping and licking at the skin roughly. 

 

“ ‘mmm- forgot how good it feels Cas.” The angel squirmed again and Jimmy allowed him to roll over to face him, blue eyes clashing immediately. But he didn’t stop. Grinding his hips forward again, a groan slipped through his lips when he felt Castiel’s hardness against his. 

 

Castiel whimpered.

 

Jimmy growled and rolled them so that he was on top.

 

“I guess its time I showed you one of the perks of being human, huh?” Castiel had gotten erections in Jimmy’s body before and he had talked the angel through how to get rid of it. And sometimes Castiel would let Jimmy take over his hands to make him come. But Jimmy had never let anyone else touch Castiel- only Dean could. But this...this they could do. With deft fingers Jimmy undid Castiel’s belt and slacks, pushing both the pants and underwear far enough down to free his hard cock. The small whimper Castiel lets out when the fresh air hits his sensitive skin has Jimmy smirking. It only takes a moment to undo the trench coat but it was a moment too long. Like this it was easy to see that their bodies were duplicates- from the fact that they were cut, all the way down to the slight upwards curve. They even had the same small scar right above their groins from some stupid childhood accident Jimmy had.

 

It was surreal.

 

And when he finally, _finally_ gets his hand wrapped around both of their cocks, they both see white.

 

“Ohh, oh- Jimmy!” Jimmy groans loudly, head falling forward to lay against Castiel’s clavicle. Hot and wet open mouthed kisses are placed all over his pale chest.

 

“That’s it angel, you like that don’t you?” Jimmy grunted, stroking them together. His grip was loose, his fist barely fitting around both of them but it felt _so good_. He could feel the precome leaking out of himself and Castiel’s was covering his hand quickly. Their fluids mixing with the sweat quickly building between them had Castiel’s eyes rolling. 

 

He’d been alive so long- had seen so many things. He had watched angels, animals, even humans copulate before. Hell, he’d even had Jimmy help him through a couple of times on his own. But he never _ever_ thought it would be anything like this. His skin tingled where him and Jimmy touched- from where Jimmy’s lips were mouthing at his chest, to where their cocks were tightly held together, all the way down to their ankles where his pant leg had ridden up. His hands dug into the messy black hair, holding Jimmy close to him as another cry was torn from his mouth. He pushed up, fucking into Jimmy’s hand, spreading his legs wider. Another growl tore from Jimmy’s throat.

 

“Fuck baby you feel so good. So hard for me.” They were both so _so_ hard and it felt _so fucking good_. But he wanted more. Cas needed _more_. A low whine slipped past Castiel’s chapped lips and he reached down, slotting his fingers in between Jimmy’s and tightening their grip. 

 

Holy _FUCK_.

 

Immediately both men moaned. Castiel’s added grip had both of the men panting harder and squirming. Their thrusts became more erratic and forceful- each of them chasing their own climaxes.

 

“Going to come for me angel? Paint my fingers white? Come on Cas, wanna feel you cum. Finally get to feel it.” And he did- he really wanted to feel Castiel come. To know that he made Castiel come. All the former-angel could do was nod, squeezing Jimmy’s shoulders harder. He wanted it. Fuck, they both wanted it. _Just a little bit more_. Clumsily their noses brushed, eyes meeting as their lips did. Both were pink and full and the kiss was more the sharing of breath but the moment Jimmy’s tongue swept out to touch Castiel’s- the angel gasped.

 

“Oh fuck, _JIMMY_!” With a cry Castiel came, spilling over both of their hands. The feel of Castiel’s come on his fingers had Jimmy swearing before following him. Their hands continued to pump between them- neither knew if it was Castiel or Jimmy leading the movement. Eventually, after a long sigh, Jimmy rolled off to lay next to Cas.

 

They sat there basking, both too lazy to move.

 

“Now I see why humans copulate so frequently.” Jimmy laughed. And laughed and laughed until he had tears in his eyes and his sides hurt. Of course, Castiel didn’t join him. But when Jimmy looked over, he had this small half-smile on his face that had Jimmy breaking into hysterical laughter all over again. By the time Jimmy finally calmed down, his breathing was ragged and the silly smile wouldn’t leave his lips.

 

“I take it you liked that then?” A lazy grunt was Jimmy’s only answer and he chuckled. Time ticked by- they didn’t know if it was seconds or minutes. Not like it really mattered honestly. But eventually Jimmy sighed and sat up; grimacing at the sticky feel of drying come on his hand.

 

Oh _ew_.

 

He could only imagine how Cas felt with it all over his stomach and chest.

 

Looking over at the blissed out look _still_ on the ex-angel’s face, Jimmy snorted. He doubted Castiel cared about much of anything at the moment. So with a sigh, he unlooped the tie from around Castiel’s neck-

 

Getting very little help by the way. Lazyass ex-angel.

 

-and mopped up the quickly drying come from his body. THAT got a reaction from Cas. Who- quickly- tried to steal the tie back.

 

“ _STOP_ Jimmy, you’ll _ruin it_!” And if this happened at any other point in time, he would’ve laughed at how attached Castiel was to the damn thing. But, as it stood, they were trapped in the middle of god knows where with nothing more than what is on their backs. The same stuff that had been with them since the beginning of all this. 

 

So no, Jimmy really couldn’t judge.

 

All he could do was kiss Castiel on the forehead and continue cleaning his ex-angel.

 

“Relax Castiel, we will clean it. But we don’t need you running around smelling like spunk, okay?” If anyone ever asks- he was not pouting. He was (is? no-definitely was) an angel of the Lord. And as thus- he does not pout. But he will never deny a certain attachment to the blue article of clothing. And no one could blame him for that. As Jimmy cleaned him, Castiel watched silently. So many thoughts were running through his head. Now that their morning activities were over and the dopamine rush was gone, he felt the worry from yesterday creeping back in.

 

“What do we do now Jimmy?” He meant to sound more confident but his tone fell flat. Silence permeated the air as they redressed, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally when they stood, as clothed as could be, Jimmy sighed.

 

“I guess we continue north.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So honestly I really don't know why I took forever to update.  
> Oh wait...yes I do...I skipped chapter 4. Seriously, I wrote like, 1 line of this chapter and then went on to chapter 5. Don't know why, I just...did.  
> But hopefully a little smut has you guys happy. Chapter 5 is going to be a long(ish) one so brace yourselves. Its about 2/3rds of the way done.


	5. Heads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was borderline on having a panic attack from just walking down goddamn main street.
> 
> It was pathetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH HOLY SHIZZNIT ANOTHER UPDATE SO SOON?? READ ON MOTHA FUCKAS!  
> Okay so I've been asked by a very lovely reader to explain Castiel and Jimmy's relationship. I...really don't want to. Not because I don't want it explained, but I don't want to just come out and say it. The idea bothers me. So basically this is shot mostly from Jimmy's side in order to see his view on the current situation. But not in first POV. I hate that.
> 
> WARNING. THIS CHAPTER INVOLVES PANIC ATTACKS. No MAJOR triggers unless you have extreme social anxiety. But if it makes you uncomfortable...I would say don't read but then you would miss something major in the story.

The first sound of a car honking had Jimmy’s heart leaping in his throat. Civilization? Had they truly found civilization? It took another thirty minutes or so (they really had no clue. The phone that Dean convinced Castiel to carry was smashed to pieces in the pocket of the trench coat.) before they neared the edge of the woods. The road in front of them was mostly gravel and it led to, what looked like, your average all-American small town. 

 

They smiled at each other.

 

Small all-American towns had diners. And motels. And clothing shops. Most importantly, they had a phone to call Dean.

 

...wow they really needed to sort out their priorities.

 

Without thought he slipped his hand against Castiel’s shoulders, down his back, and into the pocket of his left butt cheek. Unfortunately Castiel didn’t so much as bat an eye. Which made Jimmy pout. 

 

Stupid angel.

 

Er...human-angel.

 

God this is so fucked up.

 

With a sigh, he pulled free his wallet from his pocket that he shoved in there all those years ago. He already knew what was in it before he even opened it. His old ID, a picture of his wife and daughter, $137 dollars cash, a couple of bank cards that his wife had hopefully long since shut down, a couple of business cards from potential clients, and an old receipt from Sonic. That’s all that was left of the old Jimmy Novak.

 

It’s a little sad, right?

 

But there was no time to dwell on his life from -what seems like- forever ago. No, he had to focus on the here and now. More specifically, the problem at hand. They couldn’t very well go walking into town like this.

 

Clothing.

 

They needed clothing.

 

Since splitting the outfit of one guy between two bodies would have the town questioning their sanity, they would have to come up with a plan. Because Jimmy and Castiel REALLY didn’t want to go back to a mental institution. The thought of it had them both shuddering. They don’t really talk about the time Castiel...broke.

 

It is not a happy memory.

 

However they will both take Dean’s reaction of Castiel showing up naked and covered in bees to the grave.

 

But that brings them back to the current argument.

 

“I am already dressed Jimmy. I should be the one to go get you some clothing.” Psh.

 

“Oh so you can dress me like Moses? No thanks! Besides, you don’t even know my size!”

 

“I am older than you can even imagine. I watched man take its first steps. Do you really believe me to be so incompetent that I can’t even read the numbers on your clothes that I am already wearing?” Fucking arrogant angel!

 

“Goddamnit Cas you have no concept of social interaction, no idea on how to shop thrifty because _I’m sorry I didn’t clean out my bank account before you infiltrated my body so we be broke_ , and finally YOU HAVE NO FASHION SENSE. Jesus Christ, Ray Charles dressed better than the outfits you would choose and he was BLIND.” And you think he’s kidding. But Castiel once almost dressed up in purple pants, a mustard yellow shirt with a blue vest and flip flops. All while on the run from Naomi. 

 

Seriously.

 

Jimmy couldn’t make that hideous attire up.

 

Jimmy loved Castiel. He really did. Which is why when the angel-human went to open his mouth again, he simply slapped a hand across it, shoved him back against a tree and pressed their bodies together in order to intimidate him.

 

Which would have totally worked...had they not been completely identical. This meant he had no height, weight, or muscular advantage.

 

But Castiel had no angel mojo.

 

So he had that going for him, which is nice.

 

“Listen Cas,” Oh yeah, he pulled out the nickname. Dean’s nickname. The one that always made the angel-human snap to attention. Blue eyes, so very much like his own, narrowed at him. And Jimmy’s eyes rolled. “I’m being serious. The last time you shopped, you almost slaughtered a dude for not having Dean’s pie.” His hand pressed harder when Castiel started to protest. “No! I know, the pie was important. But that’s not the point. Just let me do this, okay? I will be quick, I promise.” Finally, the anger seemed to dissipate from his form leaving only worry and...fear?

 

And suddenly it clicked.

 

Shit.

 

Jimmy dropped his hand and sighed.

 

Slowly he leaned forward until their foreheads were touching and black hair was mixing together.

 

“I won’t leave you Cas. I’ll only be gone a moment, okay?” And yeah, okay, maybe they had some separation anxiety. But when you’ve been through as much as they have together, it was warranted.

 

Castiel stared.

 

Jimmy stared back.

 

And finally... _finally_ , Castiel nodded.

 

Quietly they disrobed. Jimmy took the shoes, slacks, and button down leaving Castiel in the socks, boxers, and undershirt. They quickly redressed and Jimmy slipped the wallet into his left back pocket. Yes, they both felt silly being only half dressed but Jimmy felt more comfortable leaving Castiel like this. Plus, Cas got to keep the trenchcoat. It was like a safety blanket to them and Jimmy wasn’t going to take that from the new human. No matter how much he wanted to continue wearing it himself.

 

With a final kiss to Castiel’s forehead, Jimmy set off through the trees. When they said small town America, they really meant small town. Most of the cars were older- 90’s to early 2000s, everyone seemed to know each other in some small way, and smiling faces littered the streets. It was both heartwarming and a little weird. Jimmy slapped on a small smile of his own and wandered down the street. It was weird, seeing people again with his own eyes instead of through the eyes of an angel. Angels could see everything- from the big picture surrounding them to the souls and energy that surrounded all living things to the very atoms that all matter was made of. He could no longer see what Castiel saw and it was weird.

 

More than weird.

 

And feeling...well, feeling _everything_ had Jimmy going through another loop. His skin was still sensitive- though thankfully nowhere near what it was before. The sun shining on his back was nice but being surrounded by all these people (even though it was a small town and not that many) had his teeth on edge. He could feel the natural energy that humans let off; could feel the body heat from the guy he just accidently brushed shoulders with. 

 

He felt wrong.

 

Exposed.

 

Exposed without his angel buffer between him and people. Shit, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. He could feel his heart pumping harder and his breathing picking up. 

 

He was borderline on having a panic attack from just walking down goddamn main street.

 

It was pathetic.

 

When sweat began collecting on his brow and _fear_ started running through his veins, Jimmy tucked into a small building, welcoming the cool A/C on his flesh. At least luck seemed to be on his side- he had unintentionally run into a hometown version of a Walgreens. And it was mostly empty. Which, seriously, was awesome. 

 

Until he saw the cashier looking at him oddly.

 

Rude.

 

With a shaky smile towards the -rude- cashier, he grabbed a basket and rummaged around the store. He couldn’t spend a lot- they still had to find out where the hell they were. And if they were far from Kansas, that meant they had to pay bus fare. Or rent a car (if they even could without any insurance). Either way, that is a big sum of money. So walking through the food aisles Jimmy grabbed a couple of meal bars, a few bottles of water, and a few apples. It wasn’t the most nutritious meal but it would give they what they need. Especially after not eating in who knows how long. Up next: clothing. 

 

Fuck, this could get expensive.

 

The “clothing” section was barely an aisle long and most of it was for babies. But, thank whoever the fuck you want, these people were ripping off Walgreens because they had scrubs. Cheaply priced, made of thin and cheap fabric, horribly colored, scrubs.

 

Jimmy wanted to cry in happiness. He quickly grabbed a black top and bottom, made sure they were size large and threw them in the basket. He could totally skip the underwear. Cas was used to wearing the outfit anyway and Jimmy wasn’t going to take any of that from him. He grabbed some blue flip flops (literally the only thing they had in his size) and made his way to the front.

 

The -rude- cashier was staring at him like he had grown a second head. Okay so maybe he looked a little bum-ish with his desperately-need-to-shave stubble and Jimmy glared.

 

“I would like to pay now.” The raised eyebrow thrown at him made him believe the cashier didn’t think he _could_ pay. And THAT was insulting. So he threw a glare back. Hell yeah, he _knew_ his glares were intimidating, so all he had to do was wait.

 

And wait.

 

The cashier lasted all of 8 seconds before cracking like the little bitch he was. Jimmy wanted to victory dance but he reigned it in. He had to be cool.

 

“Your total is $34.21.” Holy shit that was a large part of their expenses. But...it was clothing. And clothing was a necessity. And it was food. Food was _definitely_ a necessity. Fuck, shit was expensive. With a sigh, he pulled the wallet from his pocket. And totally smirked when the dude saw the _real leather_ billfold, bank cards, and cash. Hell yeah, that’s what that fucker gets for judging him. And if they totally didn’t need every cent they had, Jimmy would’ve told him to keep the change- _just to be a dick._

 

But they needed that change.

 

Even the four fucking pennies.

 

Which is why he held back on being a dick and instead smiled tightly at the -rude- cashier.

 

“Can you tell me how to get to the closest train station?” There it was again- that stupid judgemental look. God, Jimmy wanted to punch him in the goddamn face. And he could now. He totally could. Because he has a body. With fists. And his short temper that he totally blames Dean for.

 

“Uhh straight up Main, left on Commerce and it’ll be there. You can’t miss it. Its...full of buses.” Wow this guy should get an award for worst description ever. Jimmy wrote better cereal slogans at 3AM with a bottle of jack and too much chocolate. 

 

He was judging.

 

With a small thank you that was barely more than a sneer he left, stepping back on to the much busier sidewalk. He must’ve been in there longer than he thought because the once quiet town was now bustling with life. His skin prickled uncomfortably as the people passed him- shoulders brushing against his accidently.

 

Jimmy froze.

 

And began to panic.

 

Too many people. He hadn’t been around people in YEARS. He could feel his breathing becoming rapid and his chest was heaving. 

 

He had to get back to Cas NOW.

 

Running like his life depended on it, Jimmy rushed through the streets. Yeah he was getting yelled at as he accidently bumped into people. And running with plastic bags of stuff sure as hell wasn’t easy. But he didn’t have a choice. He _needed_ to get back to Cas. Already he could see the edges of his vision going dark and he knew tears were streaming down his face.

 

Almost there. Almost fucking there.

 

The familiar treeline that he originally came through was in sight and Jimmy let out a sob in relief. Stumbling through the trees he tried to breathe, listening to anything and everything.

 

“Cas??” He expected the ex-angel to meet him immediately. But when what felt like minutes ticked by and no answer came, fear gripped onto Jimmy again.

 

“CASTIEL?” The edges of his vision grew darker. He was hyperventilating- he fucking knew it. But he couldn’t stop. He didn’t remember dropping the bags; just wrapping his arms around his knees as he crouched low to the ground. 

 

Where was Cas?! 

 

The next thing he knew arms were circling around him, squeezing him close to a warm and solid body. The hug was almost crushing but instead of panicking, Jimmy began to relax. The embrace was good. Solid. Grounding. He could hear a low murmur next to his ear. Slowly, he came back, breathing slowing and tears stopping. Finally he registered the voice.

 

“I’m here Jimmy. I swear I’m still here. You’re okay. I’m okay. We’re fine. We’re _both_ fine.” And Castiel just kept saying it. Over and over. Until it was the only thing that Jimmy could think. Instead of feeling all those people around him, all he felt was _Castiel_. They sat like that for a while, until Jimmy could breathe normally. Hell, until he could THINK normally.

 

“I’m okay.” He really wasn’t. But he was better. And he could feel Castiel nod against him like he understood.

 

Because he probably did. 

 

Castiel always understood him.

 

“Why didn’t you answer?” His throat hurt. And he sounded creepily like Castiel because of it. And he _knew_ their water bottles were somewhere close. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. He felt more than heard Castiel sigh.

 

“I had to pee.” It was blunt. To the point. Hysterical laughter threatened to bubble up but honestly Jimmy was too exhausted to laugh so him settled for smiling instead. Really, he needs to explain modesty or humility or _something_ to Castiel. Because knowing his luck the ex-angel would announce something like that in public. However it would be so utterly _Castiel_ that he wouldn’t even be able to feel embarrassed. 

 

Maybe.

 

Possibly.

 

Claire did condition him for it afterall.

 

A frown threatened to replace his smile so he shoved those feelings aside and instead burrowed into the warm body still encompassing him. Cas ran gentle fingers through Jimmy’s hair and the latter sighed. Distantly they could hear birds chirping around them as well as a car horn honking in the distance. And it was that sound that brought them back to the present. With a small groan they pulled away from each other- though neither commented when they remained close enough to touch.

 

“Well...I brought food.” 

 

This time Castiel did laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you think? I'm going to be very honest, I've only had and dealt with a few panic attacks in my life. I'm pretty much as emotionally constipated as humans come. I try and turn everything into a joke or sexual innuendo.  
> (lol, in-YOUR-end-tho)  
> Point is, I tried to write one (two-ish) panic attacks to the best of my abilities without delving too deep into my own personal experiences. Mostly because I don't want to relive the ones that I've had. Panic attacks are real things and they aren't funny so sorry if some one thought I was making fun of you. I tried to keep the story as light as I could given the situation.  
> The next chapter will be called Tails. It will pretty much be this chapter from Castiel's side of things. Hopefully it will show his feelings on his and Jimmy's relationship. I dunno when it will be up. I leave for San Antonio early tomorrow so I'll have about 5 hours of car ride to write in.
> 
> Okay, thanks for reading all of that. Y'all know the drill now. RATE AND REVIEW BITCHES!!!


	6. Tails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But having these things made him feel closer to Jimmy.
> 
> To Dean.
> 
> So he kept them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay like I said- This is TAILS. Pretty much the flip side of what happened last chapter. Don't worry, I'm not going to be doing a lot of chapters like this. Mostly because I hate stories that do it. But I figured this was a good way to show how both of them are reacting to the fall.

Honestly when the sound of a car horn blared through the trees, Castel damn near jumped out of his skin. He was so lost in his thoughts about their predicament that he had completely lost sense of their surroundings. Which was completely _stupid_ considering at least half the creatures on this planet wanted them dead. He really should be paying more attention. When the popped their heads through the trees, Castiel could easily see the paved road that lead into town.

 

The smile that Jimmy threw at him was contagious and he could feel the corners of his mouth turning upwards. If Jimmy was happy then he was happy. And Castiel could understand why his counterpart was happy.

 

Towns had diners. And motels. And clothing shops. Most importantly, they had a phone to call Dean.

 

The last one had his smile threatening to slip off. He still wasn’t comfortable calling Dean for help. But he was not so prideful that he would leave Jimmy vulnerable by not calling. Castiel is human now. He can’t fight or protect like he could before.

 

The feel of a hand against his back trailing down to his ass has Castiel rolling his eyes. He knew Jimmy was just trying to get a rise out of him. And the pout on his lips proves it. 

 

He ALMOST smirks at Jimmy.

 

Almost.

 

But he doesn’t.

 

Because the pout that was just on his lips is gone, replaced by an emotionless mask. Well...shit. Jimmy is looking through his old things. He had held on to it specifically because Jimmy had asked him. The leather square never impeded him in any way and over the years Castiel had begun to add his own trinkets to the coat in order to be more like Jimmy. He kept his own copies of two pictures- one of only Sam and Dean and the other of the hunting group that Bobby took all those years ago. Technically there shouldn’t be a copy- Bobby burned the only one in the fireplace. But Castiel saved it. 

 

Sometimes being an angel had its perks.

 

There is also the broken cell phone as well as bottle cap from the first beer Dean ever handed him. Jimmy made fun of him at first for these things but...he liked them. Needed them. He envied how humans could connect to material items- as if they had actual importance. Angels didn’t really connect to anything- ever. They simply were.

 

But having these things made him feel closer to Jimmy.

 

To Dean.

 

So he kept them.

 

Watching Jimmy count the money was pointless. They both knew what all was in that wallet. For the longest time after Castiel took over the body for good, Jimmy obsessed over it. Because it was the only thing that tied him to his old life- to prove that he was REAL at one point. Sure, in the heat of the moment agreeing to permanently become an angel vessel is an easy thing to do. Especially if its the choice between you becoming a meat suit or your daughter. Castiel understood that.

 

Or, really, he did _now_.

 

He didn’t back then. 

 

But over time Jimmy and Dean and even _Sam_ had taught him compassion. Had taught him love. Jimmy had originally agreed to be his vessel out of _love_ for his daughter. Castiel likes to think he understood. But, really, without a child of his own, he really has no idea.

 

The closest he has is Jimmy. Jimmy is someone he can protect. Care for. Like Dean.

 

Which is why when JIMMY decides to leave to go get clothing, Castiel panics. He can’t protect Jimmy if he isn’t here! What if something happens to Jimmy while he’s away? Or...what if he just doesn’t come back? 

 

Which is why he decided to fight Jimmy about it.

 

“I am already dressed Jimmy. I should be the one to go get you some clothing.” Which yeah, okay, maybe his intentions weren’t COMPLETELY innocent. But that was a viable reason!

 

“Oh so you can dress me like Moses? No thanks! Besides, you don’t even know my size!” That was insulting. He may be a different species but he could certainly _read_!

 

“I am older than you can even imagine. I watched man take its first steps. Do you really believe me to be so incompetent that I can’t even read the numbers on _your_ clothes that I am already wearing?” He hoped THAT would convince him. But Jimmy just huffed. 

 

“Goddamnit Cas you have no concept of social interaction, no idea on how to shop thrifty because _I’m sorry I didn’t clean out my bank account before you infiltrated my body so we be broke_ , and finally YOU HAVE NO FASHION SENSE. Jesus Christ, Ray Charles dressed better than the outfits you would choose and he was BLIND.” Oh, he just HAD to bring that up didn’t he! He makes ONE bad clothing decision and suddenly he’s inept at picking up clothing? And he doesn’t _need_ social skills to pick up clothing. He goes, buys stuff, and leaves. Why do humans feel the need to make even the most mundane tasks complicated!?

 

The feeling of Jimmy shoving him back against a tree had him glaring. This was an intimidation tactic. One that Dean uses frequently. And one that Jimmy happened to pick up. Because anyone who knew Jimmy before all of this happened _knew_ he was not a confrontational man. 

 

So Jimmy using a maneuver that they BOTH knew was Dean’s had Castiel’s mind reeling.

 

“Listen Cas,” And then he pulled out the nickname. Dean’s nickname. The one that always made him snap to attention. That was a seriously low blow. “I’m being serious. The last time you shopped, you almost slaughtered a dude for not having Dean’s pie.” IT WAS IMPORTANT PIE. “No! I know, the pie was important. But that’s not the point. Just let me do this, okay? I will be quick, I promise.” He promised...right. The fight seemed to seep out of him. But what if it was an empty promise? Jimmy was free now. Had his own body and everything. 

 

The fear, worry, and/or desperation must’ve shown on his face because Jimmy dropped his hand and sighed. Slowly Jimmy leaned forward until their foreheads were touching and black hair was mixing together.

 

“I won’t leave you Cas. I’ll only be gone a moment, okay?” And yeah, okay, maybe they had some separation anxiety. But when you’ve been through as much as they have together, it was warranted.

 

Castiel stared.

 

Jimmy stared back.

 

And finally... _finally_ , Castiel nodded.

 

Quietly they disrobed. Jimmy took the shoes, slacks, and button down leaving Castiel in the socks, boxers, and undershirt. He felt odd. Naked. Castiel had only been out of the full getup a handful of times. And usually it was not for a good reason. But this was necessary. The only plus? Castiel got to keep the trench coat. He knew Jimmy wanted to continue wearing it. But it would’ve been odd looking- or at least, Castiel assumes it would’ve been odd looking. Its warm- definitely too warm for humans to be wearing jackets. And he can attest to this now. His...body is sweating. And he can feel a flush on his cheeks from the heat of the sun. But he shrugged the coat on anyway, covering his lower half. He didn’t care about nudity. But if anyone were to stumble on to him...well he doubted a random man wearing a coat and boxers would go over well.

 

Humans were so strange.

 

With a final kiss to his forehead, Jimmy set off through the trees.

 

And Castiel was silent.

 

Without Jimmy, the silence was deafening. There have been times -more times than Castiel would like to recall- where he’s been without Jimmy’s incessant “yammering” (as Dean once lovingly referred to Sam’s talking). But he always had his presence there, waiting and watching. But now, for the first time in years, Castiel was alone. 

 

It was only the thought of Jimmy coming back that stopped him from trembling.

 

Which really shouldn’t be happening. 

 

He is old- Castiel knows he is old. He has watched over the human race for thousands of years. He survived all that time by himself.

 

Well, no, not really.

 

In all that time, he was always connected to the host. He could always, always hear his brothers and sisters. Hear their voices- hear them singing. It was a constant connection that all angels have.

 

Or, had.

 

Castiel had become used to not hearing those voices when he began to fall. The sounds would flicker in and out of his being. He remembered Jimmy hating the voices at first- but then becoming reliant on them too. It proved they were not alone. And then one day he couldn’t hear them anymore. 

 

But he had gotten used to it.

 

He could only imagine how the other fallen angels were holding up at the moment. Suddenly alone, in panicking vessels (if all of them had managed to find one), with no connection with anyone or anything.

 

The guilt hit him full force.

 

At least he had Jimmy. And Sam. And Dean.

 

His righteous man.

 

Honestly, the thought of going back to Dean both terrified and overjoyed him. He remembered losing his powers around Eve. Dean had called him a “baby in a trench coat.”

 

Those words had cut him deep.

 

Dean’s opinion of him was one of the most- no, it was _THE_ most important thing in the world to him. He didn’t want to seem weak or incompetent to the hunter.

 

The word USELESS flashed in his mind.

 

No, he did not want to be useless. He was a soldier. An angel of the lord. He would not- _could not_ be useless. Especially not to someone as important as Dean. Nor to Jimmy. 

 

Minutes turned into hours as he waited. He had no idea when Jimmy would be back. And its not like Castiel had any way to tell the time. And even if he did, it wouldn’t matter. Time had very little meaning to him as an angel. Dean tried to instill it into him once- his hunter always needed his 4 hours of sleep. So, Castiel made an effort to memorize the feel of 4 hours. 

 

Jimmy was gone 2.

 

He had stepped away from where Jimmy left him for a moment when the uncomfortable pressure of his bladder became unbearable. He knew the feeling from the first time he fell- he had to urinate. The thought made him crinkle his nose. The hunger pains in his stomach he could handle. Ignore. The need to urinate made both sitting and standing uncomfortable. And the thought of doing it made him shiver in disgust. Angels didn’t do this

 

But he’s no angel anymore.

 

Resigning himself to his own fate, he maneuvered through the trees, finding a spot far enough away that he could pee in peace. As soon as he made it far enough away, whipped it out, and got past the point of no return- he heard it.

 

“ _Cas_??” Jimmy WOULD come back as soon as he went off to pee. And it was only past experiences with the Winchesters that made Castiel not call back. One, it was stupid to call loudly in the woods. You never knew who or what was around. And two, Sam always yelled at Dean when he tried to talk through the bathroom door. And considering they were the only humans Castiel has as an example, he had to draw the conclusion that speaking while urinating was bad. So he kept his mouth shut and finished.

 

“ _CASTIEL_?” The next call came a few minutes later as he was on his way back. But it was wrong- panicked. And Castiel immediately ran towards the voice. He didn’t go too far from “camp” but it was far enough that by the time he got back, Jimmy was on the ground. Castiel had seen far too many panic attacks over the years from watching the human race not to know what was happening. Without a second thought he raced forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Jimmy. His hold was tight to the point of pain. But he didn’t ease up.

 

“I’m here Jimmy. I swear I’m still here. You’re okay. I’m okay. We’re fine. We’re _both_ fine.” And he just kept saying it. Over and over. Like a mantra. Until he felt Jimmy relaxing in his hold. Until Jimmy’s breathing went back to normal.

 

“I’m okay.” He really wasn’t. But he was better. So Castiel simply nodded. Arguing about it would be pointless.

 

Jimmy could be very stubborn when he wanted to be.

 

“Why didn’t you answer?” Castiel sighed. It was best to be honest right?

 

“I had to pee.” It was blunt. To the point. And really, he didn’t have anything more to add. It was a necessary bodily function that he was going to have to get used to having. And he would rather not talk about it. 

 

Ever.

 

Besides, Jimmy was smiling and that was all that mattered.

 

Castiel ran gentle fingers through Jimmy’s hair and the latter sighed. Distantly they could hear birds chirping around them as well as a car horn honking in the distance. And it was that sound that brought them back to the present. With a small groan they pulled away from each other- though neither commented when they remained close enough to touch.

 

“Well...I brought food.” Seems his bluntness rubbed off on Jimmy- though he said it sheepishly.

 

And Castiel could only laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...what do you think? A little codependent? Sweet? Probably unhealthy? ...more than likely unhealthy. It wouldn't be SPN after all if it wasn't! Things are going to start speeding up now in the story I promise. But this was an important part to show.
> 
> Okay lovelies,  
> Rate, Review, and let me know what y'all think!


	7. On the Road Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you ready Jimmy?” While the question _sounded_ simple, it was anything but. There was so much behind it. Are you ready to join the world again? Are you ready to finally see Sam again? Are you ready to finally see _DEAN_ again? It made Jimmy wince but nod.
> 
> “I am, are you?” Are YOU ready to see them again? Are you ready to admit to Dean you messed up (again)? Are you ready to accept that you are _HUMAN_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are over a month later! Chapter 7!!  
> If anyone is interested in hearing excuses, they're at the bottom. If not, skip that shit.

It wasn’t until after Jimmy was dressed in the scrubs and flip flops and Cas back in wrinkled suit and tie did they eat. Which, honest to god, was the funniest thing Jimmy had ever seen.

 

“You don’t see the molecules and therefore it tastes _so much better_!” Seriously, no one should enjoy apples THIS much- but Jimmy can’t find it in him to tell the ex-angel that. So instead he sits, amused, watching his friend devour the fruit.

 

“It’s pretty good. Sorry your first meal couldn’t be a little more...substantial. Just wait until you try a cheeseburger. I know you had one with famine but you were just filling a craving. They taste really good. Or even _pie_. But we’ll wait for Dean to try that. Now that you’re...human, things will taste so much better.” They both decided to overlook the hesitation over Castiel’s new title. Instead, he decided to focus on something more important.

 

“You mean pie tastes even better than this??” The apple was finished and Castiel had moved on to the protein bar Jimmy had given him. It was chewy- not crisp like the apple. And if he took too big of bites, it became hard to chew. Honestly, Castiel was loving the taste.

 

Jimmy could only wince in embarrassment. 

 

Really, if it were up to him (and were possible), Jimmy would’ve treated Castiel to the best food money could buy as his first real meal. Maybe a medium-rare steak with garlic mashed potatoes and grilled veggies. Or possibly lobster. Hell, even fish is considered nice. Anything would’ve been better than...this.

 

Hopefully he can make it up to Castiel soon.

 

They were far from sated food wise- but the water was crisp and cool on their tongues. Really, Jimmy _knew_ they should pace themselves with the water. They still didn’t know where they were. Or how long it would take them to get to Dean. But the water tasted so good. 

 

So good in fact, that he only felt a _little_ guilty when his bottle crinkled loudly- signaling its emptiness.

 

However, that guilt racked up tenfold when Castiel’s bottle crinkled a second later. Jimmy wanted to facepalm. He was SUPPOSED to be setting an example for the exangel. Castiel is now human. He doesn’t know that water is required. 

 

Castiel eyed the empty bottle forlornly. He wants more water...

 

With a small sigh Jimmy grabbed all their trash, throwing it all in the plastic bag before tying it and throwing it to the side. Hey now, just because he just spent the past few years as an angel doesn’t mean he’s now a saint. He can litter if he wants to. They got bigger fish to fry at the moment. Jimmy knew that. Castiel knew that. But neither moved. Until Castiel sighed lightly. 

 

“Are you ready Jimmy?” While the question _sounded_ simple, it was anything but. There was so much behind it. Are you ready to join the world again? Are you ready to finally see Sam again? Are you ready to finally see _DEAN_ again? It made Jimmy wince but nod.

 

“I am, are you?” Are YOU ready to see them again? Are you ready to admit to Dean you messed up (again)? Are you ready to accept that you are _HUMAN_? It was a loaded question for them both. For a moment they just stared at each other- blue eyes clashing. They knew they really didn’t have any other _choice_ but to go to Dean. And it sucked, never being able to have a choice in life. But...they could wait- for just a moment longer. Giving each other the _choice_ of time. Then, without words, Castiel stood, offering his hand down to Jimmy. There was a moment of hesitation- where every fear flew to the forefront of his mind- before Jimmy shoved all those thoughts into a box and grabbed Castiel’s hand.

 

They’ve already been through so much.

 

They could do this.

 

Together.

 

-

 

The walk through town was not as difficult this time with Castiel by his side. Of course, he was also distracted by the fact that Castiel kept staring at EVERYTHING. 

 

A leaf floating to the ground.

 

A dog barking.

 

A lady shutting the trunk of her car.

 

Even a guy yelling some racial slur. -okay, that Castiel _glared_ at, but that can still be considered staring.

 

Jimmy knew- he _knew_ it had to do with the lack of atoms. That Castiel was now seeing everything like a human and NOT as an angel. Angel sight was very different. Jimmy knew- it took him a while to adjust to Angelvision as well. Being able to see every particle, atom, proton, electron, neutron, connection...its a mind fuck. Like, seriously.

 

So to be able to sit back for the first time and just enjoy everything as a whole must be pretty fucking amazing for Castiel. And Jimmy wanted to let him enjoy it. He really, really did. But Castiel gawking at everything and everyone was starting to gain them some attention. Which, if Jimmy was being totally honest, they would’ve caught peoples’ attention anyway. They were, in the eyes of the public, very good looking twins with a very odd taste in clothing. And the last thing they need is attention. So, with a resigned sigh, Jimmy grabbed Castiel’s arm, pulling the other man close to him and grabbing his attention.

 

“I need you to be calm Cas, please.” Castiel looked like someone just kicked his puppy.

 

“But everything is so PRETTY, Jimmy!” And he meant it too- he really did. Castiel had always watched his father’s creations. But for the first time in his very long life, he felt as if he was truly _seeing_ for the first time. He wanted to look, to see, to _enjoy_ the life around him fully. And now Jimmy was telling him to stop? To calm down? How could he be calm when everything was so DIFFERENT?

 

“I understand that Castiel, but you are drawing attention to us.” Jimmy really didn’t want to rain on Castiel’s parade. Castiel knew that. Just like he knew Jimmy was right. He had no reason to lie. It still made Castiel frown. But he reigned it in anyway. It turns out that the street that Jimmy had originally walked down was Main. Lucky them. So they kept walking.

 

It really was small town America.

 

The buildings looked like they were built in the 1900’s. All red brick and wood. Finer details that you just don’t see in today’s architecture. It had a small bookstore, a coffee shop, some place called Tony’s Diner, some smaller clothing shops, a gun shop…in fact the only actual “chain store” that Jimmy could see was a Chase Bank a little further down. It made them smile. Because people nodded to each other, and were smiling, and there was even a freakin teenage couple sharing a milkshake at the diner.

 

Talk about Pleasantville.

 

So they walked.

 

Straight up Main.

 

Left on Commerce.

 

And like the bus station was there. And...it was full of buses. Well at least the rude cashier didn’t lie. If he had, Jimmy and him would’ve had a problem. Well...more of a problem then they apparently already did. So they wandered up the asphalt to the vintage looking bus station. Seriously it was cool. If either of them were architecture freaks, they would be drooling right now. Because it was all brick and chrome and looked like something straight out of the 1950’s. But not overdone like the fakes usually are. They ignore more odd looks as they make their way up to the building.

 

Both of them sigh once inside the A/C.

 

Not like it was burning up outside. But warm enough that Jimmy did not envy the many layers that Castiel was wearing at all. Why he ever decided a 3-piece suit and trench coat was a good idea when handing his body over to an angel, he will never know. Seriously- he spent a good part of being locked inside his own head thinking about it. If he had to do it all over again, he would’ve put on army pants and a tshirt. 

 

Something durable. 

 

More rugged.

 

Less “holy tax accountant”. (Dean’s description that Jimmy 100% agrees with.)

 

Wandering their way up to the ticket counter Jimmy immediately took the lead (they don’t want to scar the woman with Castiel’s social skills). Luckily for them the woman appeared neither pissy nor overly peppy. Jimmy didn’t think they could handle either one of those at the moment. Instead all the older woman seemed to do was smile politely.

 

“How can I help you boys today?” Okay, she wasn’t _that_ much older than them. _Maybe_ old enough to be Jimmy’s mom. _Maybe_. If she slept around in highschool. Plus, with the quasi-beards they were both sporting, Jimmy thought they looked even older. So he wanted to complain. He really did. Afterall, he was not a child. And Castiel DEFINITELY was not a child. But now was not the time for that. So he chalked it up to her possibly being from the south- he didn’t recognize her accent and he STILL didn’t know where the hell they were at. Both Jimmy and Castiel plastered on polite smiles towards the woman.

 

“Hell ma’am-” Better polite than sorry, “-we need two adult tickets to Lebanon, Kansas please.” Oh Jimmy was SO happy he remembered where the bunker was located. And really, he only remembered because _who the hell puts a bunker in Lebanon, KS_?? But the Men of Letters did. So he remembered it. The woman- her little nametag reads Janice- begins typing away on her some-what outdated computer. In the few minutes it takes her to look up the schedule (or that’s what Jimmy _assumes_ she is doing anyway. She could be looking up the winning racehorse for the week for all he knew.) Castiel’s hand slips into Jimmy’s. Their fingers tighten together, identical callouses rubbing together. The soft ‘ah-hah’ Janice gives has them both smiling hopefully.

 

“You’re in luck boys. I have a bus arriving in about two hours. Would you like it?” It is only because Janice has been super friendly to them that Jimmy doesn’t immediately reply ‘ _no shit_ ’ like the voice in his head -that sounds remarkably like Dean Winchester- demands. Also because Castiel squeezed his hand in warning. So, instead, Jimmy sighed and then nodded.

 

“If you would, please.” The tickets print out immediately after a few more ‘tap tap taps’ on Janice’s computer.

 

“Alrighty boys, the total is $89.50.” Jimmy’s smile turns more into a grimace. There goes most of their money. But...bus tickets are necessary, right? It will get them to Dean. So he sucks it up, pulls the five $20 bills from the wallet that barely weighs down his scrub pants, drops two of the quarters from earlier on the ledge, and pushes it towards her. A measly $10 bill and the tickets are pushed back towards him.

 

He doesn’t put his wallet away.

 

“Thank you very much.” It’s Castiel that thanks her. It is also Castiel that leads them to some seats, blessedly cushioned. Jimmy doesn’t look away from his wallet. Mentally he’s already done the math but he finds himself checking the amount anyway.

 

$13.29

 

That’s all they have left.

 

Hell, that’s not even enough for two at Wendy’s.

 

A low whine left Jimmy’s lips and he resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. God, this is so fucked up. They can’t buy food. Or water. Or what happens if they need to take a cab to meet up with Dean? Jimmy couldn’t even provide enough for Castiel- let alone the both of them. He was a failure. Dimly he was aware of Castiel leaning against his shoulder.

 

“That’s not a lot of money, is it?” While it was technically a question, Castiel wasn’t actually asking. He’d been around for millennia. He knew what currency was. And he’s been with the Winchesters long enough to know that the human world was not a cheap place. So it was hardly difficult to understand why there was a frustrated look on Jimmy’s face.

 

A grunt confirmed his suspicions. 

 

All Castiel could do was sigh.

 

“How long is it going to take us to get to Dean?” Huh. Now that was an interesting question. They didn’t even know where in the fuck they were. 

 

But it had to say it on the tickets right? Right.

 

So Jimmy pulled the tickets in hand. And slowly, they both tilted their head. Where the hell was Sheridan, Wyoming?? This was one of the those times that having a phone would be really fucking handy. Not only would they be able to call Dean, but they could fucking google map this place. But they got lucky.

 

Departure: Sheridan, Wyoming

Departure Time: 4:45pm August 27th, 2014

 

Arrival: Lebanon, Kansas

Arrival Time: 3:15am August 28th, 2014

 

That told them two things. 1) That it was currently 2:30ish if what Janice had said was true. And 2) That it was going to be a long ass bus ride. But at least these busses were nice. With A/C. And a possible (questionable?) bathroom. And they would be out of the elements while they slept. Not like August in Wyoming was terrible- it could’ve been much colder last night. But things could attack them out in the wild. 

 

“So, we will see Dean soon?” Time was something Castiel could never grasp. He’d been around since the beginning of man. Being mortal never even crossed his mind. Therefore he never learned how to tell time. But he learned incrimates. He knew Dean’s 4 hours. He just had to multiply that by 3. And it wouldn’t even be that long technically. 3 rounds of Dean sleeping...Castiel could do that. And just to confirm it, Jimmy nodded.

 

“Yes Castiel, soon.”

 

The two hours passed in a blur to the two men. And for the most part, they were able to ignore the curious looks sent their way. But Jimmy wasn’t too sure if it was because they were ‘twins’- or because they were oddly dressed. People would stare for any fucking reason nowadays.

 

Getting on bus was a challenge. Castiel had never been on one before. He had only been in a few different vehicles before. And he only liked the impala. This...vehicle...was nowhere near close to being like the impala. It was bigger, held more people, was louder (Castiel didn’t even think that was possible. The impala was very loud.), and smelled funny. So it was no secret that he didn’t want to get on the metal contraption. 

 

Jimmy had to remind Castiel 6 times that this was all for Dean.

 

The driver looked at them funny when they said they had no luggage. At all. Even the bare-minimum guy had a backpack. But they didn’t. Which prompted them to get weird looks from the few other passengers as well. Thankfully, there weren’t a lot of people on their way to Lebanon-freakin-Kansas at 4:30 on a Wednesday. It seemed to be more of a pitstop on the way for them. So it’s not like they had to deal with a fuck ton of staring. 

 

Yay for small miracles.

 

The first hour wasn’t...terrible. It took Castiel a while to calm down. Apparently being in a bus while human was a lot different than being in a vehicle while angel. Things were louder. Smellier. Castiel really hated the lack of hygiene in humans. 

 

Then again, they hadn’t showered in days so they really couldn’t be pointing any fingers.

 

Hours two and three were full of wonder- once the slight claustrophobia wore off. Castiel relaxed into the chair, watching as the world passed them in a blur. He pointed out families in other cars when they passed. Or landmarks. Or funny trees. Or a bee. Castiel was really happy when he saw the bee. Jimmy couldn’t stop giggling. 

 

A few more hours passed in a blur before their bellies started to growl. Jimmy didn’t mind it when his sounded. He absolutely hated it when Castiel’s did. But Castiel seemed...indifferent to it? Like he didn’t care he was hungry?

 

Castiel was, in fact, not indifferent to it. He hated it. He hated the hunger. He hated the humanity of it. This wasn’t him. But he knew Jimmy felt bad about it. So he kept his mouth shut and put his old soldier training to the test. 

 

He ignored it. And prattled on about the species of tree they were passing.

 

When Jimmy said they were a little over half way there, Castiel smiled. He felt cramped in this hellish metal box. His legs felt tight and his bottom hurt from sitting the same way for so long. But he ignored it and turned back to the window.

 

He and Jimmy dozed. Restlessly too. Every bump or stop at a light made them bolt upwards, thinking they were in Lebanon. The last leg of the trip had them exhausting themselves. Not talking. But they were excited. Nervous. They wanted Dean.

 

_Lebanon 23 miles_

 

They were close to the Kansas border.

 

Neither Jimmy nor Castiel could sit still. Palms were sweaty. Jimmy’s leg bounced up and down in nervous habit.They were so close. And it’s as if the damn bus driver _knew_ how anxious they were because the bus slowed down to a crawl. To the slow-ass speed of 40mph. The stupid speed that every driver knows thanks to drivers ED. 

 

And Jimmy _knows_ the speed limit is 50mph.

 

So he hates the driver even more.

 

Lebanon is not a large town. Its pretty much tree, tree, tree, _oh look an old brick building_ annnnnd...you’ve left Lebanon. So there is no buffer for when the town is suddenly THERE. Most of the buildings are dark because, hello, the sun isn’t even up yet. Won’t be for a few more hours. Hell, even some of the street lights are out.

 

But they made it.

 

Castiel looked at Jimmy, as if to reaffirm where they were. Jimmy smiled.

 

They were here.

 

-

 

Jimmy knew every phone number Dean ever had while Castiel ran his body. Every. Single. One.

 

What?

 

Its not like there was much else to do.

 

So, he memorized stuff. All kinds of stuff. Like how many miles Dean and Sam typically traveled in a day before stopping. (On average- 723 miles. The most they had ever gone was 1003. Dean had damn near passed out at the wheel after that.) Or how many witches they killed over the past few years. (Going on 73 now. Fucking witches.)

 

Ya know, just stuff.

 

But mostly he memorized _Dean_ stuff.

 

Like how many floss stitches Dean had accumulated over the years. (Honestly Jimmy didn’t like that number...but he kept track anyway.) Or how Dean typically likes to shave. (Right, left, and then middle. Always save the sideburns for last.) Or even how Dean organizes his pack. (Sam thinks he just throws everything in there. Dean actually has a system. It keeps the weapons hidden- but accessible. And his clothing doesn’t get wrinkled either.)

 

_Dean stuff._

 

And Dean stuff included phone numbers. Each and every number Dean owned. 

 

Which is why Jimmy- not Castiel- was the one to go trade in a ten dollar bill for a roll of quarters. Easily enough, the store clerk thought he was just a hospital intern needing to do laundry and didn’t question his wardrobe choices. Thankfully too, because Jimmy was sick of that shit. He can only take so much staring before loses his shit. And now, Jimmy is at this random-ass payphone and dialing each number of Dean’s that he could remember. Which is quite a lot of them. But he’s trying to remember the most recent ones.

 

214-453-7522- _I’m sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service._

 

405-995-7890- _I’m sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer-_

 

332-641-1110- _I’m sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is-_

 

214-883-9558- _I’m sorry, but the number-_

 

972-144-6423- _I’m sorry, but-_

 

469-655-2288- _I’m sorry-_

 

998-520-4444- _“What?”_

 

“SHIT.” And Jimmy then proceeded to throw the payphone away from himself- the metal cord catching it so it swung low by his thigh. 

 

That was Dean. 

 

Dean just spoke to him.

 

_TO JIMMY._

 

“ _Who the fuck is this?_ ” The voice sounded small where the phone dangled near his knee, but honestly Jimmy could only stare blankly at it. Dean, his Dean, was speaking to him. Directly to him. For the first time in YEARS. And Jimmy...Jimmy was freaking out. Suddenly the phone booth felt too small. What if he didn’t even remember him? Or didn’t want to talk to him?

 

What if Dean hated him?

 

The air around him seemed to get thicker. His lungs got smaller. He couldn’t breathe.

 

Dean couldn’t hate him.

 

He _couldn’t._

 

And then suddenly he was being pushed back into the corner- a warm, solid body pressing against his from head to toe. Castiel was there in front of him, chest to chest, staring him in the eye. He could feel fingers curl into the hair on the nape of his neck. Feel Castiel’s breath on his lips. Only after that did he notice the phone pressed against Castiel’s ear.

 

“Give me a moment Dean.”

 

“ _CAS?_ ” But neither paid attention to the deep voice- thrown higher from surprise. Their foreheads touched. Blue eyes clashed.

 

“Breathe with me.” It took multiple breaths but Castiel was grounding him with touch. Every time Castiel’s chest pushed against his, Jimmy took a breath. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Their eye contact never broke.

 

In.

 

Out.

 

In.

 

Out.

 

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes but Jimmy held back- a shaky smile appearing on his lips instead. ‘Thank you’ was unnecessary between them. Arms wrapped around Castiel’s waist as Jimmy buried his face in his neck. Only after Jimmy’s heart rate calmed to a non-threatening level did Castiel focus back on the phone in his hand.

 

“Hello Dean.” There was a sigh. Then a chuckle. Jimmy was close enough to Castiel that he could hear everything.

 

“ _Son of a bitch Cas, it’s good to hear your voice_.” Jimmy wanted to pipe up about Dean hearing _his voice_ too, but Castiel shushed him.

 

“It’s good to hear yours too Dean.” It was calming for both of them. Not as calming as it will be to actually SEE Dean, but good enough for now.

 

“ _What happened Cas? Where have you been? Its been WEEKS since the angels fell._ ” Weeks? Seriously? That news had both of them stiffening. A tremor went down Castiel’s spine. 

 

All his brothers and sisters...

 

A whimper threatened to claw its way out of Castiel’s chest. Oh father, all his family… As if sensing his thoughts, Jimmy mouthed lightly at his neck, bringing Castiel back to the present. To where Dean was still waiting on an answer.

 

“I was not aware that it had been weeks Dean. For us, it has only been a few days.” Jimmy held his breath. Castiel held Jimmy. But Dean either didn’t notice, or didn’t care about Castiel’s use of plural in the sentence.

 

“ _Christ Cas-_ ” And Castiel chose to ignore the blasphemy. This time. “ _I’ve been- Sammy and I have been worried sick. Where are you? I’ll come get you._ ” At that, Jimmy looked around, looking through the glass of the phone booth that surrounded them. The sky was dark- it still would be for hours yet. But, there was a street lamp at the crossroads near them. And underneath that flickering light were street signs. Before Castiel could utter another word, Jimmy opened his mouth.

 

“In Lebanon. At the Greyhound station at the corner of Silsby and 2nd. The bench n’ phonebooth outside.” Honestly they didn’t know if they sounded identical. You couldn’t really hear yourself. But they were identical right? So maybe their voices were too? But from what he remembered from his Claire’s home movies they made, Jimmy’s voice wasn’t as deep as Castiel made it. Shit, maybe he should’ve deepened his voice when speaking to Dean?? 

 

The other end was quiet for a beat. 

 

Two beats.

 

Then…

 

“ _Shit, you’re HERE? Gimmy an hour. I’ll be there. Just wait, okay Cas?_ ” Dean sounded relieved. Still slightly panicked. But relieved. And they let the soothing sound of his voice calm them.

 

“Okay Dean.” Castiel could hear the appeased grunt through the phone line.

 

“ _Say you will be there, Cas._ ” Castiel’s lip twitched. Jimmy broke into a full on smile.

 

“I will be here.” They weren’t going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So normally, I don't give a rat's ass about author's excuses as to why the story hasn't been updated. And I haven't written anything recently (except for IMBOMT and Can I see Them) that would warrant an excuse. Long story short, my sister (and the only member of my family that I give a flying fuck about) went to the hospital on the 18th. Extensive Bilateral Pulmonary Embolisms. She went home Thursday as did my mom and step-dad and I was put in charge of her care.  
> All last week I was down in Galveston (a 5 hr drive from home) taking care of her. I left last Sunday and I came back this weekend since its a holiday to see her. She's doing awesome btw. Just is very lonely. Off most medications.  
> But yeah, all that shit kind of kills your need to write. Hell, I barely ate and slept. So I tried to make this chapter longer for y'all as an apology. Hope you enjoyed it. The next one should be up soon.


	8. Prepare For Trouble. And Make It Double.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dean!" What he didn't expect was for Cas to hug him back. Tightly. Wrap his arms around his waist and bury his nose in his neck. This hug was much more...intimate than Dean was intending. But for this brief moment it was okay. 
> 
>  
> 
> Because Dean thought Cas had DIED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter TiemmmmmM!!!!

Shit, shit.

 

Fuck, fuck.

 

Holy _SHIT_.

 

Castiel is here.

 

_Castiel_ is _here_.

 

_IN LEBANON_!!!

 

“SAM. _SAMMY_!” He was panicking. Holy shit. He, Dean fucking Winchester, was panicking at 3:46am in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers.

 

He should really get on pants.

 

It was about the time that he was tripping over his jeans while trying to put on both legs at the same time that Sam rushed it looking all kinds of exhausted and freaked out.

 

“What the hell Dean?!” Both of their hair was sticking up at odd angles from being pressed against pillows. Sam had pillow lines across his face and Dean swore he saw drool still glistening on his chin. It took a couple of yanks for his jeans to slide upwards and he tilted precariously to the left before finally buttoning them. His lungs felt too full and yet horribly empty- he couldn’t seem to get enough air. Finally, after weeks of calling and contacting everyone they knew across these United fucking States, Dean could say the one word that he had been dying to let slip across his lips.

 

“ _Castiel_.” To his credit, Sam didn’t run. He fucking BOLTED out of Dean’s bedroom like hell was on his heels. By the time Dean managed to throw on his flannel overshirt, leather jacket, and locate his keys (they’re always thrown in the same spot but Dean isn’t exactly thinking clearly right now.) Sam is dressed and already back at the entrance to his room. 

 

“Where is Cas? Did he say? Is he okay?” The walk from in the bunker to Baby was a blur they were moving so quick.

 

“He’s here-” 

 

“ _HERE!?_ ” Dean snorted and threw the car in drive, hauling it towards town. The bunker was situated up the mountain and away from the actual town so it would take the full hour Dean told Cas on the phone. 

 

“-at the Greyhound station in town. I think he has someone with ‘im.” Fuck the speed limit, Dean couldn’t wait an hour. And if this were a normal situation, he wouldn’t be so lax with his Baby. But this was _Cas_. Castiel who had been missing for WEEKS. It was long enough that Sam had begun to lose hope. 

 

But not Dean.

 

Dean _knew_ Castiel was out there. And he was _right_. So Sam could SUCK IT.

 

The drive to town took 23 minutes.

 

And driving through the town in order to get to the Greyhound station took another 15.

 

The roads were barely lit- just a streetlight at each corner. Or one in the middle of the street if it's long enough. So when Dean turned down 2nd street, it was easy to count the cross streets due to the lights. Silsby Avenue was 9 lights down. Sam was sitting on the edge of his seat- they typical seatbelt forgone in his eagerness.

 

Three lights passed.

 

Dean was pretty much white-knuckling the steering wheel at this point. Castiel had sounded...off, on the phone. And he was talking to someone else. Another angel? Perhaps.

 

Another three lights passed.

 

The lights threw shadows everywhere. And at this time of morning combined with their weeks of lack of sleep, the boys were disoriented anyway. But they were aware. And they were ready.

 

Two more lights passed- these two spaced further apart the farther they got from town. Up ahead they could see the phone booth that was under the Silsby light. The bench that they knew was near it was thrown in shadow- but they could see a form. It didn't help that the light from the bus station was sending shadows everywhere. Nor did it help that there were people wandering around- Sam assumed they were waiting on the next bus that was currently idling in the parking lot. With his Baby rumbling loudly Dean pulled into the lot, finding a spot as close to the bench as possible.

 

Sam was out of the car before it was fully put in park.

 

Dean was not far behind.

 

"CAS." Honestly he didn't give a rat's dick that it was ass o'clock in the morning and he was yelling. Nor did he care that he sounded like one of those chicks seeing their husband come back from war. All he fucking cared about was hugging the ever loving shit out of Cas when he stood up from the bench. And when he stood from the bench, blue eyes glinting in the artificial light and black hair sticking in all freaking directions, that is exactly what he did.

 

"Dean!" What he didn't expect was for Cas to hug him back. Tightly. Wrap his arms around his waist and bury his nose in his neck. This hug was much more...intimate than Dean was intending. But for this brief moment it was okay. 

 

Because Dean thought Cas had _DIED_.

 

So for this brief moment, Dean ignored his hatred of chick-flick moments and hugged tighter. He ignored how the black scrubs didn’t suit Castiel at all (and he would never admit that he missed that damn trench coat). He ignored the fact that Castiel smelled different (ignoring the totally hasn’t bathed in days smell. He meant the ozone smell that always seemed to linger around the guy). And he ignored Sam’s astonished gasp because _fuck you his best friend was a-fucking-live_.

 

“ _Dean_?” But...he couldn’t ignore Castiel’s voice. Except...he didn’t feel Castiel’s chest vibrate when he spoke.

 

And he is totally not going to think about the fact that he is pressed head to fucking toe with Castiel. But he should’ve felt him speaking. Plus, Castiel’s voice sounded like it was coming from a different direction. To his left actually. Which made no sense. 

 

Nor did it make sense for them to still be hugging. Because Dean is 95% sure that friends don’t hug for this long. Hell, not even him and Sammy hug for this amount of time. So, Dean slowly loosened his grip, letting his arms slide from their death grip around Castiel’s shoulders. 

 

Castiel tensed. 

 

And held a moment longer- as if struggling to let go. Dean felt a puff of air against his neck and _holy shit were those lips_? And then suddenly Castiel let go, backing up as he did.

 

To stand right next to Sam.

 

Who was staring at _ANOTHER_ Castiel.

 

…

 

“HOLY SHIT.” His gun was in his hand before his brain could fully process it.

 

It was pointed at the scrub wearing Castiel he was just hugging.

 

Who looked to be on the verge of tears.

 

And that pulled on his heart strings in a way that he didn’t even want to try and decipher at damn near 5 o’clock in the morning. Fucking hell, the sun was going to rise soon. His brain was still trying to put 2 and 2 together when Castiel- _the one that was dressed the way Dean was fucking used to_ \- stepped in front of his identical with his arms stretched wide. 

 

Dean’s gun immediately lowered.

 

You never point a gun at someone unless you intend to shoot. 

 

And he never wanted to shoot Castiel. Which is why this whole thing was fucking with his head. And he does not like his head fucked with. Not at this insane time of day. Not at any time of day.

 

“What in the _hell_ is going on?” Dean had to ask. Because honestly it looked like Sam’s brain had shut off. He just kept looking back and forth between Castiel 1 and Castiel 2. Which was _fan-fuckin-tastic_. Now Dean had to be both the emotional one AND the smart one. Which means he actually has to pull his head out of his ass and _think_.

 

Not exactly his strong suit.

 

When Castiel 2’s hand clamped on Castiel 1’s shoulder and crowded closer to him in what Dean knew to be _fear_ , Dean’s stomach lurched. Dean had 2 important people in his life: Sam and Cas. And currently one (possibly one?) was scared. He hated it. Castiel 1 (the one dressed like Dean recognized. Except he had no tie. Where the fuck did that tie go?) sighed and reached for the had on his shoulder, pulling Castiel 2 beside him.

 

“Dean, Sam-” Sam grunted. In a very non-Sam way. Which, ignoring the whole weird situation in front of him, his brother is acting really fucking weird. Maybe his bigass brain finally broke? “I would like to re-introduce you to Jimmy Novak.”

 

Wait.

 

Pause.

 

JIMMY?

 

“...son of a _bitch_.” It was literally all Dean could say. And suddenly HE was the one with the broken brain. Jimmy fucking Novak. The guy was dead. Or, SUPPOSEDLY dead. Honestly other than brief snippets here and there over the past few years, Dean tried really hard not to think about Jimmy. Or the fact that the Cas he knew was actually VERY different looking than what Dean recognized him as. Like, whole other species looking. What had Zacharia said? Six heads, one of which is a lion or some shit?

 

It totally fit Castiel’s badassness but _still_.

 

It was only after Jimmy shifted a couple minutes later did Dean startle out of his daze. And realize he still had a cocked gun at his side. With a disgusted grunt at himself, he flipped the safety back on before sliding the weapon back into the waistband of his jeans. The fear seemed to drain out of _Jimmy_ as soon as the gun was out of site.

 

“It’s...shit, Jimmy- I guess it’s good to see you?” Really, Dean had no idea what to fucking say. Jimmy was here. And Cas was here as well. And they were fucking TWINS. All in all, Dean thinks he is handling all this pretty fucking well. Well, better than Sam anyway.

 

Hell, he was still staring at them. Open mouthed. With his head tilted. Seriously, maybe his brain broke.

 

“It is good to finally see you in person again.” Well that statement didn’t freak him out at all. IN PERSON? What in the flying fuck. But then Jimmy smiled. Brightly. 

 

And Dean swore his brain short circuited. 

 

“Uh- um…” Oh yeah, this was going fucking smooth. “Sam, you wanna say hi?” 

 

Sam just turned to him. And blinked. Then turned back to Jimmy and Cas. And blinked.

 

“Hi.” That was it. Seriously, Sam couldn’t contribute anything else to the fucking conversation?

 

“Right. Well.” Well, it is now or never. With strides that were more confident looking than he actually felt, Dean strode up to Cas before throwing his arms around him. The hug didn’t last as long as the one with Jimmy. Nor was it as intimate. And Dean _really_ hated the fact that his stomach clenched at that realization. “Its good to see you Cas.” He said it low enough that it was pretty much whispered. But his eyes never left Jimmy. Who, seriously, never even stepped back a foot. So he was like...right fucking there. It was bizarre. Because he was hugging Cas. But looking at Jimmy. And...yeah his fucking brain hurt. 

 

So, he does what he always does and detaches himself from the situation. 

 

After detaching from Cas.

 

“Alright, let’s get y’all back. You look like you could use a shower.” He could’ve been a dick and said they SMELLED like they needed a shower. But no need to kick ‘em while they’re down. So instead he turned heel, grabbed Sammy in passing because his stupid brother has gone fucking brain dead, and climbed into his Baby. He waited until the twin sounds of the back doors closed before starting the engine. The rumbling purr that usually relaxed him in any given situation now set Dean’s teeth on edge. He looked over to check to make sure Sam was in too.

 

At least his brother had buckled himself in.

 

That showed at least SOME brain activity.

 

The ride back to the bunker was silent. Dean was coping as well as could be. IE: gripping the steering wheel as hard as possible and keeping all thoughts to himself. Sam, surprisingly, was freaking out. But it wasn't as if he was asking questions. Oh no, the freak was just STARING at them. Like, he said NOTHING. And STARED. If it was freaking Dean out, he could only imagine how fucking creepy it was to Castiel and Jimmy.

 

_Jimmy._

 

He was trying super fucking hard NOT to focus on the fact that the guy that was supposed to be DEAD was currently riding in the back seat with the angel that was supposed to be riding shotgun in his body.

 

This is so fucked up.

 

If Dean thought the ride to the bus station was long, the drive back to the bunker was never ending. The silence made it damn near unbearable but he could not find it in him to turn on the radio. Hell, he could barely focus on the road. No matter what his eyes seemed to shift back to the rearview mirror.

 

To Jimmy and Cas.

 

Holding hands.

 

See, Dean hadn’t seen either of them directly. They went from being in the shadows of the night to the shadows of the car with absolutely no light in between. Which, hopefully will change soon if the lightning sky has anything to say about it. But even in the dark, Dean could see that they were touching. Constantly touching. Holding hands. Brushing shoulders. Hell, he even thinks their ankles are crossed at this point. 

 

It was weird.

 

This whole goddamn situation was weird.

 

Light was just starting to peek over the horizon as they pulled up to the bunker. Everyone was (still) silent as Dean shut off the car. Out of his peripheral he could see Sam still looking at the wonder twins in the back. But Dean wasn’t. Not really. No, his eyes were trained on his rearview mirror- both sets of blue eyes were staring directly at him.

 

As if one blue eyed electric stare wasn’t bad enough. There’s now fucking two.

 

Fuck that.

 

Dean got out of the car and the others followed. And then, once inside, it was like a fucking light went off in Sam’s head because he suddenly started talking. And would not, for the life of anyone, shut the fuck up.

 

“So where have you two been? And yeah, there are TWO of you now? Jimmy I’m sorry. Hi, by the way. Are you okay? Do you need food? Shower? Clothing? How did it feel to fall? Can I touch your face?” And, yeah, after that last question, Dean had had enough. He actually had to slap Sam’s hand- LIKE A DOG- to stop him from touching Jimmy’s face. Who, rightfully, looked creeped the fuck out. Good on them. And...yeah, Castiel and Jimmy were touching again.

 

Awesome.

 

“Sammy, shut up and no touching team rocket over there.” Sam huffed. Cas raised an eyebrow. Jimmy snorted, trying to hide a smile. And Dean blinked. Did Jimmy actually understand references? 

 

Oh.

 

Interesting.

 

“Do y’all want a shower or food first?” And it was then that Dean and Sam got to witness something interesting. All Cas and Jimmy did was look at each other. Jimmy barely lifted an eyebrow. Castiel wrinkled his nose. And it dawned on Dean. They were having one of those silent conversations. He and Sam had them all the time. But, it was weird watching other people do it. 

 

Especially if they look very similar.

 

And he meant similar too- not identical. Not 100% identical anyway. There were minor differences. Things that other people may overlook, but they stuck out to Dean. Castiel’s eyes were bluer- like they were glowing. It was a difference Dean noticed years ago when Jimmy took back over. Castiel just has a light in his eyes that seems...inhuman. His hair is tamer as well. 

 

But Jimmy looks...younger. Not by much. But he looks like Castiel did in the barn- more innocent and untouched by evil. With crazy ass hair. And what looks like a perpetual fucking smirk on his plush lips. 

 

Or maybe that is the lack of sleep talking.

 

Possibly.

 

Maybe.

 

“Shower first please. We smell...unpleasant.” And yeah, Dean wanted to agree. Really bad. But again, don’t need to kick ‘em while they’re down. Jimmy snorted however, and Dean knew he had made a face agreeing. Oopsie. Oh well.

 

“Yeah, uh, right.” Well shit. “Hey Sammy, take some clothes and show ‘em to the showers. I’ll get some breakfast goin’.” Mmm breakfast. Almost instantly both Castiel and Jimmy’s stomachs rumble at the word. Castiel has the decency to look embarrassed. The other just started laughing. At least that seemed to break whatever awkward air seemed to be surrounding them. 

 

“Sure you guys follow me.” Without warning Sam turns in the opposite direction and starts down the corridor that Castiel and Jimmy vaguely remember from their time here. And, well, Jimmy eyes Sam warily. Because the dude kinda freaked him out and he was a little iffy about him _thank you very much_. But when Cas grabs his wrist and begins tugging him towards Sam because _dude, SHOWER_ , Jimmy concedes. Even if he doesn’t like the idea of leaving Dean just yet.

 

“Oh and Sam?” You can almost _hear_ the smirk in Dean’s voice. And it made Sam pause from down the hall.

 

“Yes?” It was hesitant. Almost like he didn’t want to respond. It made Dean’s smile grow.

 

“No touching their faces.” And Sam totally just tripped. Jimmy totally wanted to be as far away from Sam as possible at this moment.

 

“JERK!” Dean’s laughter was heard all the way from the kitchen.

 

“ _Bitch_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to give a big thank you all my readers. Y'all have been super and understanding and awesome. My sis is doing much better and I (obviously) have gotten my mojo back! So thank you so fuckin much for sticking with the story. I'd hug/hump you all if I could.
> 
> Okay, no more chick-flick moments. Rate n review ya bastards. Your commentary fuels me.


	9. Showers and Handjobs and Bacon, OH MY!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit.
> 
> Was that bacon?
> 
> Castiel gets to try bacon!
> 
> SCORE!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A treat for my lovely readers!

The bathroom Sam dropped them at was big. No, I’m sorry that is an understatement. The bathroom Sam dropped them off at was fucking HUGE. Huge shower. Huge bathtub. Huge closed off toilet area.

 

Just...huge.

 

It was like Jimmy’s own personal heaven. 

 

Sam had brought them here after ducking into -what they found out to be- Dean’s room and pulling out some loungewear. Dean IS the shorter of the two brothers. And Sam promised to pick up new clothing for them at a later time. Preferably NOT at some ungodly hour in the morning. But it was all well and good. They had clothing that belongs to _Dean_. That smelled like _Dean_. 

 

Jimmy may have sniffed it.

 

Castiel wouldn’t pull his pile away from his nose.

 

…

 

It’s not weird if they both do it.

 

No, what WAS weird (or just plain awkward) was then explaining to Sam that Jimmy and Castiel would be showering. In the same room. Together. They _might_ have had a minor freak out when Sam mentioned taking Castiel to another bathroom. Even though said bathroom was only down the hall.

 

They had some separation issues okay?

 

Sam had gone bright red, stuttered, and then taken off down the hall. Well...it certainly wasn’t the worst possible response he could’ve had. But stepping into the bathroom had Jimmy instantly forgetting about Sam. Which had Castiel laughing at his slack jawed look. 

 

“Fuck you, the bathroom has a jetted tub.” The taunting lasted through waiting on the shower to warm and each using the toilet respectively. Alone. Because yeah, they didn't need to share EVERYTHING. But as soon as Castiel stepped under the damn near scalding spray he was singing a different tune. Literally. Like, the moan he made when the water hit his back was pornographic. 

 

“This feels _-wow-_ amazing.” The knowledge that _this_ is the first shower Castiel gets to enjoy has Jimmy grinning. He gingerly steps into the huge stall and closes the glass door behind him. A small smirk replaced his smile when another throaty groan slipped through Castiel’s lips.

 

“Good to see you’re enjoying yourself Cas.” Jimmy could physically see the tension sliding off of Cas’ shoulders and down the drain. They had been through so much the past few days and while Jimmy was acclimating well(ish) for someone who has technically been dead for the past 5 years, Castiel was faring a little worse. In Jimmy’s eyes, switching from all-powerful celestial being to a weakass human was so much worse. And while Jimmy wasn't super strong, he wasn't the weakest a person could be. So he felt bad for the ex-angel. Even worse knowing there wasn't much he could do. But he could show him the upside of being human. So with that in mind he grabbed the soap and began to slather Cas up being careful to stay out of the direct spray. 

 

The water was warm and honestly, warmer than Jimmy could handle. Which made him want to cry. A manly cry. Because Jimmy loves the water. In all forms; be it showers, rain, pools, or hot tubs. But now his skin is just so _sensitive_. And not in the good way. Even the steam seemed heavy to him. So he tried focusing on the task (literally) at hand. It was weird soaping Cas. Because technically he was washing his own body. He and Cas were identical in every single way. And if it were up to Jimmy, he would say Castiel got the original and he was the photocopy. Because seriously? He felt like a newborn what with the thin skin and the nerve endings that still felt like they were on fire.

 

Teasing fingers trailed across his skin making Castiel hiss. The soap bubbled as he rubbed at the hard muscle making the skin slippery. Jimmy ran his hands across his shoulders and down his chest before swiping back up. His touches alternated between hard and soft- pressing into the tense muscles. Castiel twitched, a grunt of pleasure leaving him as Jimmy turned him, rubbing eagerly at his back. He knew humans craved touch but never understood why. But now, oh hell now, he understood. It felt SO GOOD. His body went pliant under nimble fingers as he rubbed every inch of skin he could reach. When Jimmy’s hand finally wrapped around them, Castiel wanted to sob.

 

“Thats it Cas. Just imagine Dean doing this. Dean touching us. He’s right down the hall. Waiting for us”. Castiel groans, eyes rolling back in his head as he pushes Jimmy against the wall. Their foreheads bumped lightly as Cas leaned close, tongue darting out to swipe at Jimmy’s upper lip. Tongues twisted and lapped against each other- barely able to call it kisses. Their hips slotted together, identical hip bones clashing- only Jimmy’s hand stopping them from being pressed together fully.

 

“Fu-fuck. This could be his hand. Or _-oh god-_ his mouth. That mouth is SIN. We could have that pretty little mouth on us Cas. Take turns on us. Get a chance to fuck that mouth.”

Castiel ran his fingers up Jimmy’s neck, nails digging into his hair. His hips rolled forward hard, fucking up into the tight fist.

 

“I want it Cas. You want it to. Have that s-sharp tongue lapping at us. He’s so pretty on his knees. Like he’s praying.” Castiel’s breath hitched, his thrusts becoming more wild. More frantic. “Looking up at us as we grab his hair. Make him gag on us. Tears in those pretty green eyes. And he just takes it. Takes it so pretty. Swapping between us like the little cockslut he is.” And Dean would be too. Just for them. Only for them.

 

“Harder Jimmy. Need it. Need to come.” His tongue swiped lower to Jimmy’s neck, lapping at the drops of water. Cas had the urge to suck. To _bite_. He nipped at the thudding pulse beneath his lips making Jimmy gasp and whine.

 

“Make _-shit-_ Make him swallow us when we come. I want to come down that throat. Have him swallow all my come as you paint his face. I want him covered in it. Mark him up. Make him OURS.” _Oh god yes he wanted that!_ With a loud cry Castiel came, his cock spurting thickly between them. Jimmy’s eyes rolled back and his back arched, his hand covered in come still sliding over them faster.

 

“Oh god, Cas, Cas, CAS!” Castiel bit Jimmy’s lip hard when he came, the two lazily grinding as they came down from their highs. They leaned against one another in silence, enjoying the water rolling over them. Small kisses and nips were traded as they washed the evidence of their shower rendezvous away. There was no guilt eating at them for thinking of Dean. This wasn't the first and probably wouldn't be the last time they thought of the green eyed man in order to get off. The rest of the shower went quickly- Jimmy showing Cas the difference between shampoo, conditioner, and regular body soap. The stuff made Jimmy’s new skin itch and Castiel bitched about the chemicals in it, but they scrubbed the dirt, sweat and grime off all the same. Whistling, Jimmy shut off the shower and wrapped towels around them both.

 

Now came the fun part: _Shaving_.

 

Like hell he was going to let Cas run around looking like a goddamn hippie-hobo.

 

So, sauntering over to the sink, he was able to find a razor and (severely hoped) it was Dean’s. Because the last thing they needed was to be shaving their faces with something that could’ve been near Sam’s nono area. Ew. 

 

“Alrighty Cas, lets get that pretty face clean!” And that...yeah that got Jimmy a flat look. Which only made him smile brighter. Because yeah, Jimmy could totally be vain about his looks if he wanted to. Cas IS wearing HIS face after all. He can say what he wants. An eye squint and a brief pat on the counter later, Cas was sitting on the edge with Jimmy standing between his legs armed with a razor and shaving cream.

 

“I don’t see why this is necessary.” The cream was cool and made his skin tingle as Jimmy slathered it on. Every time Jimmy made a face or tilted his head, Castiel copied so it could be applied evenly. Even under his nose.

 

Castiel wanted to sneeze.

 

“Because before you came along, I did not do the scruffy look.” The first touch of a razor to his cheek had Castiel jumping making Jimmy chuckle. The strokes were smooth and methodical- starting from the top of his cheek to down his neck. First one cheek, then the other, before Jimmy tilted Castiel’s head all the way back to reach his throat. No words were necessary- they both knew how much trust this took. For Jimmy this was nice, being able to take care of the ex-angel in a way he knew how. And for Castiel, this was relaxing- letting Jimmy take over this little bit. After he was done, Jimmy took his turn, his going much faster. 

 

Brushing your teeth is a necessary evil. And Jimmy enjoyed not having to do it the past 5 years. Major pro of having an angel driver: Always have minty fresh breath. Now? He actually has to earn it. The toothbrushes were tucked away under the sink because fuck you they weren’t sharing with anyone. There are some things Jimmy will budge on. Sharing a goddamn toothbrush? No fucking way.

 

The clothing was simple. Old band shirts and sweats. The only real difference being the band and color. But they were well worn and Dean’s and they loved them. Even if they hung off their frames a little. The smell of cooking breakfast cut through the humid air and it had Jimmy’s mouth watering. 

 

Oh shit.

 

Was that bacon?

 

Castiel gets to try bacon!

 

SCORE!!!

 

Before Castiel could even open his mouth, Jimmy was tugging him down the hall and muttering something about piggy goodness. Food of the gods. 

 

Very strange.

 

But whatever it was smelled delicious and it had Castiel’s stomach growling loud enough that his ears were turning pink. With a happy cry they burst into the kitchen, the twins looking around the room in wonder. To Castiel, the bunker looked the same and yet so different. To Jimmy, he was actually seeing everything with his own eyes for the first time.

 

It was so bizarre.

 

Dean was manning the stove when they strolled in and Sam was reading the paper. It was so...domestic? Jimmy wanted to laugh. A chuckle managed to slip through his lips causing Cas to squint at him instead of looking at the brothers. The sound he had made was loud enough that it managed to get the attention of the Winchesters. Dean half turned towards them, and _holy shit_ did Dean just eyeball them? Like, head to toe eyeball them? Sam made a dramatic gasp and scurried away from the table, damn near knocking the chair over.

 

“Jimmy! Cas! Hey _uh_ -” Why was Sam acting so spazztic? And why was Dean acting so...normal? This whole situation is weird. “Sit, please. Dean is making breakfast.” A loud snort was the only response from the other brother. And Jimmy really wanted to comment. _He did_. BUT. There was eggs and toast on the table. And if his nose wasn't lying (and he really hoped with all his might that it wasn't) Dean was cooking bacon. So, without further ado, he slipped quietly into the seat in front of him. 

 

Cas however, was a little more awkward about it. He stood next to Jimmy, eyeing the chair that Sam had vacated and was -still- standing behind. Like he was guarding it. And it set Cas on edge. He avoided looking directly at Dean and Sam because while he could still see them, it was _different_. He used to be able to see SOULS. See someone's ESSENCE. And now? Now he could see nothing other than the light reflecting off their skin. It was unsettling. And it made him feel...muted. He missed seeing the colors of people. Without them the world looked dull. So he kept his head down as he walked around the table and, because of that, walked full force into Sam.

 

“Sorry Jimmy.” Blue eyes narrowed into slits and the other twin snickered quietly at the table. Then, surprisingly, Dean spoke up without even turning from the stove.

 

“That’s Cas, bitch.” Woah. All three of them looked at each other. Then looked at Dean who still had his back turned to them.

 

“You can tell?” Shock. And awe. And happiness. Dean could tell them apart! 

 

“Um- ...y-yeah?” And then amusement. Because Dean Winchester just stuttered. 

 

“Are you asking or telling?” Jimmy _knew_ there was a smirk on his face. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. He finally gets to tease Dean. And he LOVES it. All the way until Dean glares at him.

 

“I’m tellin you, you lil shit.” And everything was going perfect until then. Until Dean seemed to remember just who he was talking to and shut his mouth with a ‘click’. With a quick turn of his heel he dismissed them, going back to the bacon on the stove. It made Jimmy sick. He wanted Dean to TALK to him. Really talk. Or tease. Or SOMETHING. Not just dismiss him like a bug! A growl threatened to tear out of Jimmy’s throat and, as if expecting it, Castiel’s hand clamped down tightly on his forearm. Blue eyes clashed as Castiel sat, his hold on Jimmy never wavering. At least, not until a huge plate full of bacon dropped between them on the table. The Jimmy could give a rat’s ass about anything other than FOOD.

 

The loud rumble of Castiel’s stomach signaled his agreement. Without thought Jimmy began scooping heaping amounts of food onto Castiel’s plate. He made sure he got the fluffiest eggs. The perfect toast. The _perfect_ bacon. THIS should’ve been Castiel’s first meal. Not that sad excuse of gas station food he picked up. So Jimmy is calling a fucking do-over so Cas can have the best. Both Dean and Sam watched with scary intensity as Castiel poked at the food before popping a rather large bite in his mouth.

 

_He moaned like a goddamn pornstar._

 

And Dean couldn’t stop the huge smile that spread across his face. Nor could Sam stop the chuckle that slipped out. After that lovely start, the other three piled their plates high, digging in with vigor. Of course, no one seemed to match Castiel’s enthusiasm, but they were hungry just the same. Eventually the food started to disappear- most of it going to the twins but Dean and Sam ate their fill just the same. Once the food was gone and their bellies uncomfortably full, they knew it was time to discuss the...identical elephant in the room.

 

“So.” Twin pairs of blue eyes fell on Dean and he shifted uncomfortably.

 

“So?” Jimmy was leering at Dean. He knew it. Dean knew it. 

 

“So how are you alive Jimmy?” And isn't that just the question of the hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is going to be a lot longer than I thought. And yet...I'm completely okay with this. 
> 
> Rate n review y'all!


	10. Breakfast and Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some explanations are given. And Dean blushes like a school girl.

Never let someone tell you that a full belly doesn't help. Because they are dirty fucking liars and you shouldn't hang out with people like that. Full bellies help you relax. Full bellies give you comfort. Full bellies let you feel like you’re home. Which makes having this conversation about a million times easier.

 

“Well technically I've been here the whole time.” Jimmy shifted and _ooooh yeah popping the back is totally awesome_. And Dean sort of... explodes.

 

“Seriously? _SERIOUSLY_?” He’s totally gaping at them like an idiot. But Sam is doing the same. Finally he turns his attention to Cas. Who is just staring at him. “And you never thought to say anything??” And all Cas does is shrug. SHRUG! If it were a thing, Dean would face palm like in the anime he watches. While Dean is sitting there fuming at Cas, Sam makes a very constipated looking face. Then sighs.

 

“I’m so sorry.” It slipped out before Sam could stop it. And...that totally killed the happy buzz Jimmy had going on. In fact it seemed to bring down the whole table. Awesome. Fiddling and twirling his fork on the empty plate, he eyes the ex-angel.

 

“Don’t be… I have not regretted my decision in quite some time.” It was true- he hadn't. Maybe a little at first, when the loneliness kicked in. But not now.

 

“But...your daughter?” Sam had always regretted trying to stop Jimmy from going home. _He_ was the one that wanted to keep him. Dean wanted to send him home. _He_ was the one that basically put Jimmy under motel-arrest and thus cut his time with his family down to nothing. Jimmy’s face turned into a scowl and truly and honestly Dean just wanted Sam to shut the fuck up.

 

“My decision kept my family safe. And I do not regret it.” His tone was hard.

 

“Yeah but-” Jimmy was having none of this pity party shit.

 

“No buts.” _Unless it’s Dean’s sweet ass_. And he ALMOST said it out-loud too. Like, he took a breath and everything. But he stopped himself. At the very last second. Luckily? And...now an awkward silence had settled in.

 

Awesome. 

 

“Right…” Time for Dean to save the day. “So how are you...here?” He made vague gesture to Jimmy. 

 

“ _You_ brought me here.” His little smirk is back and Dean wants to smack it off. 

 

“I _mean_ why aren't you and Cas...one anymore?” Jimmy’s smirk gets bigger as he snickers.

 

“That sounds very zen, Dean.” Dean goes bright red. Oh yeah, teasing Dean is so much fun. From next to him, Cas glares.

 

“Jimmy…” That was Castiel’s warning tone. Jimmy knew it well. He turns to the ex-angel and smiles innocently.

 

“What?” Oh yeah, Castiel wasn't buying any of his faux-innocent look. Instead, his glare only intensifies and Jimmy rolls his eyes.

 

“Fiiiiiine. We aren't sure. Last thing either of us remembers is Metatron. Next thing we know, he’s clothed there, I’m naked over there and we've somehow landed in fuckin’ Wyoming of all places.” And...yeah Dean and Sam both look like their brains broke. Not because of the explanation itself, but because of the interaction between Jimmy and Cas. And the fact Jimmy just cursed. They still _really_ need to get used to Jimmy.

 

“Riiiiiight…” ...and then it clicks. “Naked?” And Jimmy smirks.

 

“You would focus on that Dean.” He doesn't blush. _Winchesters don’t fuckin blush_. But he did. And Jimmy saw. And Jimmy thought it was the most adorable thing his hunter could do. He always loved it when Dean blushed. 

 

Castiel’s yawn startles the brothers. Hell, it startles Jimmy. Then all at once, his own fatigue seems to weigh him down. Finally with a full belly, a real bed at their fingertips, and the feeling of being _safe_ \- it all seemed to hit them at once. It takes a moment of convincing his heavy body but eventually Jimmy pushes away from the table and stands.

 

“Right. Well. We need sleep.” Both Dean and Sam seemed to spring up at the exact same time and with way much more energy than Jimmy thinks should be possible at this time of day.

 

“I’ll get the dishes.” Its out of Sam’s mouth before Dean even gets a word in. Which is fine, because Dean wanted to walk Cas and Jimmy to their rooms anyway. But dammit, he wanted to make it seem like it was HIS idea. 

 

“Uh- follow me.” With a glare tossed at Sam, Dean turned and walked. Before Jimmy and Cas had ever showed, the brothers had talked about where to put the angel. Which room Castiel would be more comfortable in and where. That led to the _embarrassing_ conversation and realization (at least for Dean) that Castiel should be in the room next to Dean.

 

That was Cas.

 

They didn't know about Jimmy.

 

“Shit.” Well, now standing in front of the angel’s door, Dean realized the dilemma. And it seemed that Jimmy figured it out too because that little shit was smirking at him. Again. 

 

Awesome.

 

“Does this mean we get to be bunk-buddies??” Oh _HELL_ no. He will smack the shit out of Jimmy. He totally will. 

 

“Do not worry about it Dean, Jimmy will bunk with me.

 

“But...there's only one bed.” Aw, little Deanie is confused!

 

“Oh Dean, Dean, _Dean_.” And yes, that last one was said almost as a purr. “We shared the same body. The same mind.You really think that there’s ... _anything_ we haven't seen of each other?” One day Jimmy will question just how it was physically possible Dean went from being super pale to bright fucking red in the blink of an eye. But today is not that day. His hunter stuttered adorably as he rubbed a hand over his face, attempting to rub the blush away. And if Jimmy wasn't about ready to fall asleep standing up, he would chase that blush and see just how far down his hunter’s body it goes. But alas, he was full, sated from his time with Castiel in the shower, and safe. And he doubted he could get it up right now if he tried.

 

“Right. Uh. Well.” Oh their hunter is adorable. But as much as Jimmy wants to smother Dean with his dick, he wants a bed more. So he decides to let Dean’s embarrassed self get away. 

 

This time.

 

“ _Well_ ,” He totally paused for dramatic effect. And to get Dean’s eyes on him once more. “we better get to bed.” Without hesitation Jimmy grabbed Cas’ hand and, before Dean could react, gave a brief one-armed hug to Dean.

 

“Goodnight Dean.” Their near identical voices harmonized perfectly despite Castiel’s rougher tone. And with that, they slipped into the assigned room, shutting the door quietly.

 

Leaving a shocked hunter alone in the hall.

 

-

 

They sleep for the entire day. Not just through the morning. No, Jimmy and Cas slept for a day. More than a day. Literally more than 24 hours.

 

Like, both Dean and Sam had checked on them to make sure they were breathing. Not that they told the two when they _do_ wake up. The two are groggy for the following few days- taking turns lying about and following the brothers around. Sam and Dean stayed mostly in the archives room with Kevin who, seriously, reacted much in the same way Sam did. Except he finally started screaming. Then questioning Jimmy. 

 

_So many questions._

 

Dean actually forgot how excited Kevin got when it came to new people. The poor kid almost never leaves the bunker. For his own protection yes, but even Dean feels bad about it. Maybe he could send him away for a weekend. Vegas? Atlanta? Possibly Dallas? It might be good for the kid. 

 

“So you were here this WHOLE TIME?” Oh yeah, and Kevin keeps asking the same questions Dean already has. So that makes it extra annoying. And creepy. Jimmy merely nods back, laying further into the surprisingly comfortable two-seater. Watching Sam and Kevin research what the fuck was going on and translate the angel tablet was boring. But did not require much effort so Jimmy was okay to sit and watch. Castiel was perched next to him- trying (and failing) to be helpful and productive. So far none of the books had any answers. Hell, before Jimmy, Castiel had never heard of a vessel remaining coherent for as long as he has- much less being ALIVE this whole time. And splitting up? An angel creating his own body? Then becoming HUMAN? This all made absolutely no sense. Then tack on how the hell they were going to get heaven back open and all the angels back up there...

 

They couldn't find anything remotely helpful.

 

And slowly, it had all come back to Castiel. Losing his grace. Metatron STEALING his grace in order to finish the spell. The guilt was almost crushing. And he wanted to do anything in his now meager human power to fix it. He grew quiet...er. It was really throwing Jimmy through a loop since with him, the ex-angel always spoke often. 

 

Castiel had stopped eating as much.

 

And it was slowly driving Jimmy up the wall. Every time he tried to bring it up, the ex-angel simply shut him down. Which was _rude_. He hated it when Cas hid stuff from him. It was kind of impossible when sharing the same head. Now though? He could do it all he wanted to.

 

And that just pissed Jimmy off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SOOOO much for bearing with me and waiting for me to update. Hell, I'm still getting comments on this thing and it has been over a month since I updated.
> 
> Y'all are amazing. Thanks for sticking with me. Chapter 11 is like...75% written so far. I have the plot parts filled in. I just need to add details. So it should be up soon. 
> 
> Leave kudos, comments, concerns, or ideas! As you can kinda see, I'm starting to weave in parts of season 9. But since this is an AU where Jimmy and Sex exist, obviously its going to be a little different. Till next time!


	11. Lights, Camera, Act- wait, Lights?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP AFTER 7 MONTHS I'M BACK PLEASE HIDE THE PITCHFORKS

“What happened after the angels fell, Dean?” Sam’s head snapped up immediately at Jimmy’s question. His brother hadn't told him much about that night. Or the days following. Sam had come to about 3-4 days later while Dean was driving. It was...unnerving to find out that he had lost that big of a chunk of time. But Dean hadn't seemed too worried over it. In fact, he only looks slightly more worried now.

“Well-” He looked...uncomfortable with all the attention on him. His jaw clenched in a way that Jimmy always thought was delicious. “Sammy was doing the trials and I stopped him.” He didn't delve into _why_ he stopped Sam. Or _how_ he stopped Sam. And Sam was grateful. He wanted that to remain between him and Dean. The things he had said were...embarrassing. He didn't need Castiel hearing all of that. And it seemed like Dean realized that as well. “We managed to get outside the church we were in. Sammy was in and out. We looked up and… all of y’all were _falling_ ” Castiel sucked in a gasp at that and Jimmy shuddered. Without a word he pulled the ex-angel tighter next to him, his arm falling protectively around his waist.

“Did you see where any of them fell?” It was weird for the others- hearing Jimmy speak then Castiel. Technically they had the same voice. But Castiel’s was deeper. Throatier. Like he had spent his whole life gargling gravel. Where as Jimmy’s was still rough, but smoother. Like he just took a large gulp of whiskey. Watching them talk was just as bizarre. Their faces were identical. Hell until they spoke, Sam and Kevin couldn't tell the difference between the two. For some odd reason, only Dean seemed to possess that superpower. And they teased him mercilessly about it. But they weren't teasing. Not now. Not with the gravity of this talk. Dean seemed to study the twins for a moment. Watching how Jimmy tried to curl protectively around the millennia old ex-angel. Like an older sibling? Like a lover? He wasn't sure. 

“No.” His answer was clipped. And the ragged breath Cas let out had him wincing. “It looked- it was like watching a meteor shower. Or like fireworks going off.” Those were both really _really_ bad examples to use if the bitchface Sam was shooting him meant anything. Oh well. 

“Weird stuff happened here though- when the angels fell.” Blue eyes turned on Kevin and the prophet flushed. “All the lights went off. The bunker went into lockdown. Hell, I was stuck alone in here until Dean opened the door from the outside.” Well that perked up Castiel. Damn near instantly. 

“Locked in?” Kevin nodded. 

“Yeah… like the bunker had a panic system randomly start up. We assumed that when Dean broke the seal of the doors, it shut it off. Everythings been working fine since. Except the war table keeps lighting up randomly.” Jimmy’s head tilted to the side, quickly followed by Cas’ and THAT got a quiet chuckle. So it was a habit Jimmy had too? 

“The war table? Nothing else?” _Anything?_ Like a radar machine or something? Kevin looked at the two sadly. 

“Naw, sorry.” He shook his head for good measure but the little bit of hope in Castiel’s chest had already diminished. 

“It’s fine Kevin.” It wasn't fine. Castiel didn't look fine. But there was no way he could blame Kevin for it. The group was silent for a moment before Cas groaned, rubbing his hands tiredly over his face. It was a very _human_ gesture and that didn't escape anyone’s notice. As much as they didn't want to admit or acknowledge it, Cas was human now. Yeah Dean had seen him eat and sleep during the past few days but it was little quirks like that, that really hit home. And it tugged at _something_ in Dean’s chest. Something that, despite everything they had been through, still wanted Castiel as an angel. This Cas in front of him reminded him of the 2014 version of his best friend he had seen all those years ago- and that scared him. So he did what he had to in order to get the sad look off of the ex-angel’s face. 

“Maybe we should go check out the table?” It was a small suggestion. Sam and Dean looked over the thing the second Kevin said it went wonky. But they couldn't find anything weird about the table. Well, except for the fact that it was lighting up while _not plugged in to anything._ But they just attributed it to one of those odd things in the bunker. Hell, it wouldn't be the first electronic in here that started acting weird on its own. But the idea seemed to be a good one because Cas had perked back up. He looked at Dean hopefully and the hunter felt that _something_ in his chest contract again. 

“Could we?” Dean didn't even finish nodding before Cas was scrambling off the couch and out of the room. Shaking his head, Jimmy gave Dean a leveling stare before following the ex-angel out of the room. The two never separated so nobody was surprised that they left together. 

And then Sam waited. 

Dean hadn't taken his eyes off the room’s entrance after Cas and Jimmy had left. It was obvious that he wanted to follow them but didn't want to seem to eager. He was failing at that by the way. Both Sam and Kevin were watching him with thinly veiled amusement. Really, he could at least _pretend_ to continue reading the book splayed in front of him. 

Dean lasted 5 minutes. 

“I should go check on them.” He was through the doorway before he even finished talking. A snort left Kevin before he could stop it and Sam chuckled. Seeing however, that their search was still bringing nothing and this could be far more entertaining that a book, the two followed. Only to nearly run into Dean’s back considering the idiot stopped right at the entrance to the war room. Rolling his eyes, Sam shoved his brother forward, closer to the table the identical men stood around. The table blinked up at them- the lights taunting them. Maybe they meant something? Or nothing? The lights were pretty scattered all over the map. Most were a solid dot. Others were a twinkling light- almost like a star. And, if Jimmy stared long enough at the table, he could watch a few flicker out, not to return. It was weird to look at. But something was nagging at him, at his mind. And if the strained look Cas was giving the table meant anything, then he felt it too. 

“And you say this happened when the angels fell?” Castiel already knew the answer but he just wanted to make sure. Why would the table light up? 

“Um,” Kevin shifted awkwardly on his feet as all eyes were once again trained on him. “I mean- I think so? I was translating in the library when everything happened. There was a sonic boom outside- it sounded like a bomb went off. I barely had time to react before the lights died and the emergency red kicked on. Next thing I know I hear the front door bolting itself shut and steel doors going over what few windows we have. I tried opening the doors but they wouldn't budge. I went running by the war room to check the secondary exits and thats when I noticed the lights. Kinda stood out from all the red. They just started appearing one by one on the table. Freaked me the hell out. Its been like that ever since. I didn't even know the angels fell until Dean told me.” A pained look crossed Castiel’s face at the reminder and everyone frowned. 

He blamed himself for this. 

Like it was _his_ fault and not _Metatron’s_ fault. 

And Jimmy hated it. 

Because Cas was TRICKED. But that very super important fact didn't seem to matter to the ex-angel. And he was going to continue to blame himself until he fixed this. Which just served to piss Jimmy off more. The others watched in silence as Cas hung his head, long fingers gripping the table until his knuckles were white. And on the opposite side stood Jimmy. However Jimmy… Jimmy was looking at the table like it was a puzzle. Which only seemed to drive Dean’s curiosity through the roof. 

Why were some blinking? 

Why were some disappearing? 

Jimmy’s head tilted to the side as he squinted at the table- a reaction the brother’s knew well. That was Cas’- well, technically JIMMY’S- thinking face. 

“Something on your mind Jimmy?” At least over the past few days Sam had stopped looking at Jimmy with those pitiful grief stricken eyes- as if SAM was the one who lost his family and not Jimmy. Yes, Jimmy missed Amelia and Claire. But that happened years ago. Sam had been acting like it happened yesterday. It took a groggy Jimmy throwing a book at his head to finally make him stop. And, thankfully, he was talking to him like a normal person now. 

“The table.” Well. At least Jimmy was to the point. But not very forthcoming with information. And it made Dean sigh. Wandering over he took his place next to the puzzled man, trying to see just what was so interesting about the table. 

“What about the table?” To him, it looked the same as it did when they showed up a few weeks ago. So...not that interesting. His lack of insight pulled an exasperated sigh out of Jimmy. 

“You really don’t think there is any correlation between the angels falling and the lights? None at all?” Jimmy snorts, pushing at Dean’s shoulder. “Come on- even _you_ have to admit that that's too much of a coincidence.” _OI_. With a glare Dean nudged back, but immediately turned his gaze back to the table. Jimmy DID have a point. But he wasn't going to say it outloud and give him the satisfaction. Luckily he didn't have to; Sam jumped in- LITERALLY in between them, much to Jimmy’s annoyance- instead. 

“Wait so you think that these dots...they could be angels??” At least Sam is quick on the uptake. Doesn't mean Jimmy wasn't a little peeved that he was now further away from Dean. But… this was kind of important. So he could be away from Dean...for now. A glance across the table at Cas showed that the ex-angel was listening intently. He really didn't want to get Cas’ hopes up, but this was way too weird to just be sheer happenstance. So, taking a deep breath, he nodded. 

You could hear a pin drop. 

And Kevin actually fell back into a chair. 

“ _Jesus fucking Christ._ ” Castiel didn't even bother chastising Kevin for the blasphemy. Because he shared the sentiment. The room was quiet for a moment before Sam was letting out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. 

“ _Fuck_.” a grunt was Sam’s only acknowledgement. Until he piped up with a rather good question. “Is there any way we can confirm this?” That IS a good question. But one they didn't really have an answer to. 

“Garth?” And...they all stared at Dean blankly. Kevin, Jimmy and Cas, because they have no idea who Garth is. And Sam...well he didn't stare so much as bitchface. 

“ _Garth?_ ” Kevin was ignored. 

“Garth got out after he turned into a werewolf Dean.” Dean glared at Sam. 

“He could still have contacts. Numbers. He played Bobby for a while.” Sam then bitchfaced so hard Dean was surprised he didn't pull something. 

“ _Werewolf??_ ” This time is was Castiel that was ignored. 

“ _He got out Dean!_ We aren't calling Garth.” Teeth clenched, Dean seemed to mull over the thought of fighting Sam on it a little more before deciding against it. They have other contacts. 

“Fine. How about Jodi? We can see if she’s seen or heard of anything.” Granted they hadn't talked to her since the Alex incident but she _did_ say not to be strangers. 

“ _Who the FUCK is Jodi?_ ” And THERE is Jimmy’s jealous streak. He almost thought it had disappeared now that he actually got to see and touch (and soon, in his mind, taste) Dean. Apparently it hadn't. Dean mentioning a woman Jimmy had never heard of before, a woman that apparently was in the supernatural lifestyle and both brothers seemed to know and have a history with, had his little green monster foaming at the mouth. Eyes wide, Dean could only stare at Jimmy’s seemingly random outburst. Then again, the brothers’ hadn't realized their group was trying to get their attention either. 

“Uh...the sheriff in Sioux Falls. She calls when she catches wind of any monstery-stuff in the area.” The hostility surrounding Jimmy seemed to quell instantly at the answer and he nodded before stepping around Sam and over to Cas. As if his sudden outburst wasn't weird at all and was 100% completely justified. Which, to him, it was. 

So that’s that then. 

It took a few more seconds of Dean staring at Jimmy before snapping to it and pulling out his phone. Hopefully Jodi doesn't take too long to answer because it felt like Castiel was boring a hole into his head. And he was slightly afraid Cas’ powers would randomly come back and make that happen. 

_Ring...ring...ring…_

Oh hell, either she’s at work or busy or something _and Cas is going to freak out and-_

“ _This better be you Dean._ ” 

FUCK YES! 

“Yes! Jodi. Hi.” Wow, real eloquent. Sam snorted from beside him and Dean shoved him away with a hand to his gigantic face. 

“ _Where the hell have you boys been? Do you have any idea what’s been going on around here? Or ANYWHERE for that matter?_ ” Well... at least she sounded okay. Annoyed yes, but okay. Hopefully that meant she IS okay. 

“Yeah, about that. We've been meaning to call.” He glanced up at Sam to see some sort of bitchface being directed at him and waved him off. 

“ _Well so glad you finally took time out of your busy schedule to call._ ” She was laying the guilt on thick this time. Dean winced. 

“Yeah, about that, I-” But she wouldn't let him finish with whatever excuse he was going to give. 

“ _Stow it Dean its fine. Y’all boys know anything about what's been happening the past few weeks? Ever since that meteor shower- and I don't believe that for a second by the way- things have been weird. So many weird things. Weird deaths._ ” Dean chuckled. Of course she didn't believe that story. She was too smart. 

“Well first off, you’re right. It wasn't meteors. It was angels.” He held his breath. 

It was silent for a beat. 

Or two. 

Sam slapped his forehead. Jimmy sighed. Okay maybe he could’ve broken that to her a little better... 

“ _I’m sorry, I think you cut out. Did you just say ANGELS?_ ” He winced. And since Sam was standing close enough to hear, he did too. 

“Yep.” He let the ‘p’ pop. And it was silent for another moment. 

“ _Like with the wings and the halos and the clouds and the harps?_ ” Uhh... no. A loud snort was let out before he could help it. 

“Yes to the wings. Possibly to the halos. But think less new testament and more old. I don't think any angel I've met has ever sat on a cloud. And instead of harps they have swords. Shoved up their asses most of the time if their attitudes are anything to go by.” Jimmy cackled from across the room and just barely managed to dodge an elbow in the side from Cas. What? Its funny! 

“ _Jesus Christ._ ” It was barely breathed through the phone and distantly he heard a plop in the background. She must’ve sat down. Well...she was taking it better than Dean did when he found out. Then again, he reacted by stabbing Cas in the chest, so pretty much any reaction is better (and much less violent) than his. 

“Nope, haven't met him yet.” A scoff from the other end had Dean smirking. “Look, long story short: angels exist, heaven shut its pearly gates, now they’re all here on earth, and we Team Free Will, are trying to put them back.” Yeah it was missing a whole bunch of details, but that was the gist. Kinda. From across Sam’s giant body, Jimmy raised an eyebrow. He hadn't heard that group name in a while. 

“ _You better not be fuckin with me, boy._ ” A small smile flitted across his lips. She and Bobby would've been good together. 

“I’m not. Its a thing okay?” A soft ‘ugh’ was his response. 

“ _So, what do you need from me?_ ” And just like that, Jody was in. Dean knew he could count on her. 

“Well...” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. With a glance at the map, he noted where some of the dots were aligned. Many of the dots that were in the US were along the coasts more than likely because, if they are in fact angels, they need hosts and that's where huge populations are. But there were dots within the central area of Northern America. Specifically, there were dots where South Dakota is. “I need you to tell me if a “meteor” landed anywhere near you? Or if there have been weird deaths in your area specifically.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo to address me being gone... I lost the urge/totally forgot that I already wrote chapter 11. Like, I typed it all up. And then forgot that I wrote it. And in my mind, I couldn't figure out how to continue into chapter 11- even though it was already done. Which is sad. But unfortunately is the truth.  
> Funny thing is, I'm still on this site almost every single day. Reading new stuff. Getting new ideas. So I might be doing a couple more one-shots in between chapters. If you have any ideas that you want turned into stories, let me know.
> 
> Alrighty. Hope you enjoyed! New chapter shall be posted soon!


	12. Drink Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Jimmy finally get some alone time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JESUS FUCK IM BACK IM SORRY YOU CAN READ NOW 
> 
> VERY VERY SORRY

Kevin, Sam, and Castiel had already meandered to bed with the promise from Dean and Jimmy that they would follow soon after. It was weird seeing Cas leave without Jimmy, but no one mentioned it. With the realization that the lights were actually _angels_ , Dean was having a hard time going to sleep. And Jimmy? Well, if Dean was staying up, then Jimmy was going to stay up. It was plain as day that the guy had basically imprinted himself onto Dean. And if Dean realized it, he didn't say anything. So together they sat around the war table, drinks in hand and eyes on the dots- er, angels. The dots were angels. It was a lot to wrap their heads around. So Dean did what he knew how to do- deflect onto a lighter subject.

 

“So...you’ve really been there this whole time?” He can't seem to fathom the possibility. And honestly Jimmy, doesn't blame him. It _is_ a lot to take in, in a few days. He knew he was supposed to be dead to them. But still, Jimmy had held out hope that Dean possibly knew he was alive. He knew it was wishful thinking. Dean had met him for all of _maybe_ two days previously? The dude barely knew him. But it got him through some bad times. And it was all he had left.

 

“Yeah.” It's all he can say. 

 

“Strapped to that comet?” Blue eyes widen before a smile tugs gently on Jimmy’s lips. Those were _his_ words. Dean remembered what _he_ said. Jimmy remembered obviously. He had memorized and obsessed over every little word Dean had said to him. But the fact that DEAN remembered what JIMMY said...it made his insides fuzzy.

 

“You remember that?” The smile that flirts across Dean’s lips is a sad one.

 

“Kind of hard to forget.” _‘Kind of’_ doesn't even begin to describe it. Dean stared at Jimmy’s face every time he looked at Cas. Even if he had gotten _used_ to it, doesn't mean he didn't remember. Hell, Jimmy’s comment was one of the reasons he kept saying no to Michael. And he only remembered them after Cas beat the living shit out of him. Memories of the past years ran through Dean’s mind and he sighed, rubbing his forehead. 

 

“So you were there through _everything_?” The good, the bad, and the ugly? _Fuck_. Dean’s answer is a small chuckle. But it wasn't happy. It was dry and broken. Their eyes met and Dean could see years of raw PAIN in those eyes.

 

“Yep.” He let out a small pop on the ‘p’. “Through the crazy. The God phase. The leviathans.” Jimmy pauses and Dean holds his breath. “And purgatory.” He doesn't talk about purgatory. Just like he doesn't talk about hell. He came out...different from both. He lasted 40 years in Hell. And in purgatory? He didn't even know. Time ran differently there. Both backwards and forwards at the same time. And Jimmy knew that. Because he was there. He saw what all Dean did. He was there when Castiel let go. Bile threatens to rise up in Dean’s throat and he quickly washes it down with damn near half his beer. It's quiet for a few seconds more with Jimmy openly staring at Dean before finally looking away. 

 

Shit.

 

“...and of course everything after.” Everything after. Such an easy way to wrap it all up. The lying. Naomi. Beating Dean to a pulp. Fucking Meta-douche. This time Jimmy takes a sip, wincing as the bitter liquid washed against his tongue. He hated dark beer.

 

“Didn't it get...lonely?” While it wasn't a _lighter subject_ per say, it was definitely better than before. And they were BOTH thankful for the change. Jimmy thought for half a second but just shrugged.

 

“Cas is actually very good company. His humor is a little off, but I like it.” They both grin and oddly enough Dean remembers the brief comment Cas made all those years ago. _“Uriel is the funniest angel in the garrison.”_ Dean called bullshit then and he calls bullshit now. Cas was unintentionally funny. Or intentionally. Dean didn't even know anymore. 

 

But he liked it. 

 

“Besides…” Jimmy’s hesitance only seemed to make Dean more curious. He doesn't know if he wants to say it. But finally he does. Reluctantly. But he does. “I wasn't alone. Not really.” And Dean looks confused, unintentionally mimicking Cas by tilting his head. It made Jimmy smile before looking away, cheeks pinking slightly. “I had you and Sam there. Even if you were just talking to Cas, I was there too. You were talking to _me_ too. You kept me sane this whole time. So...thank you.” Yeah, it was a lame way to end it. But he couldn't think of anything better to say. 

 

A beat passes.

 

Then two.

 

Dean lets out a long shuddering breath, rubbing his hand against his eyes. Talk about some heavy shit. The dude just thanked him for keeping him _sane as he rode a fucking angel comet_. How the hell is he supposed to respond to that? 

 

“ _Jesus Jimmy._ ” It was barely more than an exhale and Jimmy winced.

 

“Too much?” Dean lets out a laugh- the sound loud in the quiet room.

 

“All of this is too much. But that's our life.” He pauses for a moment, eyes searching the ground as if it would give him the words to speak. He didn't do this touchy-feely-emotional crap. That was Samantha’s job. But he isn't so much of an asshole that he doesn't understand how important this conversation is. How much Jimmy needs to hear certain things. So, he tries to be honest. “I _am_ sorry Jimmy. I tried not to think about you. About Cas riding shotgun in your body. If we had known that you were still around…” They would have what? Found someone else for Cas to ride in? Then they would have the exact same problem. They would rip someone else's family apart. Besides, they had gotten used to Cas in Jimmy’s body. Watching random angels change bodies was hard enough. Watching someone you know do it? That would've been impossible. Jimmy cuts off his thoughts with a soft ‘tut’.

 

“Don’t say that. Cas and I decided to keep me a secret. We didn't want _anyone_ to know. It kept me safe. And now I’m here. So obviously it was a good move.” And it was. Jimmy was so happy to be here that it almost hurt. Another bout of silence rears its ugly head and Dean shifts awkwardly. 

 

“Well...I’m glad you’re here man.” And he meant it. It was better than the alternative, right? Right. And the bright smile Jimmy shoots him, all teeth and gums and happiness, only reaffirms it.

 

“If there is anything you need since you’re, well, corporeal now- just let me know.” Jimmy raises an eyebrow and his smile slowly slips into a smirk.

 

“Corporeal? Really? That's a big boy word Dean. You didn't hurt yourself did you?” _EXCUSE ME?_ The flush that covers Dean’s cheeks makes him want to chuckle with glee. He made his hunter blush again!

 

“You’re a lil shit, ya know that?” It was so easy to banter with him- like it was with Sammy. But this is Jimmy. A dude that's been locked inside Cas’ head. Or his own head. It really hurt to think about. And Jimmy didn't deserve to have someone taunting and teasing him. So Dean catches himself before he makes another joking remark and turns away. But Jimmy just smiles brightly at him.

 

“So you’ve said.” He didn't _sound_ mad. Maybe the dude wasn't so bad? This time the silence isn't so strained, each taking a moment to nurse their beers. Jimmy has never had a high tolerance to alcohol. So he could totally blame what slipped out of his mouth next on the beer.

 

“Do you mean _anything_?” So many things were running through Dean’s mind at the comment. And not all of them were clean. Because seriously that line was straight out of a fucking porno. But Jimmy’s voice wasn't full of lust. It was subdued. Quiet. Like the other was embarrassed. It had Dean curious. But what could he possibly want?

 

“Um- sure I guess.” It was a hesitant answer. Jimmy’s mind grew a little more fuzzy as he took a rather large swish of beer. He totally missed this buzz. The one time he convinced Cas to drink, the angel had gone overboard. It did allow Jimmy to take control of his mouth though. The look on Dean’s face when he had said “on a bender” always gives him a good chuckle. But right now, he wished he had something a little stronger than just beer in order to ask what was on the tip of his tongue.

 

“Can I...may I…-” _oh shit this was hard._

 

And Dean wouldn't stop staring at him.

 

Lovely.

 

“Can I have a hug?” He said it so rushed and so quiet, it took Dean a second to realize what he had asked. He then blushed, looked away, stuttered, and balked. Of all the things Jimmy could've asked for, that was NOT something Dean had in mind.

 

“...seriously?” Jimmy blushed. Then coughed. And looked away.

 

“Ya know what? Never mind, it's stupid. I’m just going to go.” And he was. He stood and turned, fully intending to go off to the room he and Cas had claimed. Because the last fucking thing he needed at the moment was his hunter to reject him. But instead he bumped face-first into Dean. Who clumsily wrapped his arms around him. It was tense at first- hell Jimmy barely even breathed. But then it was like someone flipped a switch because suddenly he was nuzzling into Dean’s neck and wrapping his own arms around him. It was warm and relaxing and Jimmy could feel every ounce of tension melt out of his body. Hugging Cas was one thing. But hugging Dean? Oh so different. Its just been so LONG since he’d had any form of physical contact. And it felt so GOOD. A sigh left his lips as Jimmy unconsciously moved closer, his lips barely brushing along the collar of Dean’s shirt.

 

As for Dean? Well, he really didn't know what to do. Of course, when Jimmy had asked for a hug, his first instinct was to scream _fuck no_ and then run off and punch something to feel manly again. But then he thought about just how much the guy had sacrificed- when he last even had a _conversation_ and Dean instantly knew he couldn't deny him. Jimmy had gone YEARS without touching another human being. Plus it wasn't as if the guy asked to _sleep with him_. But this? A hug? This Dean could do. He decided all of this in the few seconds it took Jimmy to freak out and stand up. The hug was awkward for a beat, and then it was like Jimmy just _latched on_. Dean knew he and Sam didn't have a very touchy-feely life. Sure they hugged, but only each other. And not that often. So Dean was very aware that he liked touch- something he often sought in his many one-night stands. But Jimmy? He was touch-STARVED. And it almost physically _hurt_ Dean at how tightly Jimmy clung to him. It took a second before Dean leaned back slightly, allowing him to lean against the table and take most of Jimmy’s weight.

 

This was...nice.

 

It was totally indecent and was lasting way longer than a hug between friends(?) should be. 

 

But definitely nice.

 

Cas- no, _JIMMY_ , stood just a couple of inches shorter than him which put his head right at the perfect height to lay on his shoulder. And Jimmy took full advantage of it. He nosed his way under Dean’s jaw to tuck himself into the crook of his neck. And for a moment they just stood there: Dean, studiously ignoring just how perfectly Jimmy fit against him. And Jimmy, soaking up the physical attention like a cat in the sun. The physical attention from _DEAN_. All warm and sturdy.

 

Life was awesome.

 

“Well isn't this...fluffy.” Immediately he was pushed away from Dean. Annnnnd there went Jimmy’s hug. Seriously he’s gonna kill whoever the fuck- _oh shit._

 

_“Goddamnit Crowley!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty...so... I fixed last chapter. Sorry, I really didn't know that it decided to italicize HALF THE FUCKING THING FOR NO REASON. That being said... what do you think about the new chapter? Dean and Jimmy finally got their alone time! While its not super smut filled like a bunch of y'all were hoping, there was some cuddling.
> 
> Hey now, I need some filler inbetween the smuts. Call it a refractory chapter.
> 
> But I felt it was necessary. I wanted to touch on the fact that Jimmy saw and went through everything with Dean and Cas.
> 
> But yeah....I AM sorry about the long update. Things happen, I started a new story and am 4 chapters in...oops. Maybe I should've finished this one before beginning a new one? Ehhh I can already tell this is going to be much longer than any other story I've ever written. I'm going to TRY and get it done before the show actually fuckin ends tho. That would just be embarrassing if I didn't...
> 
> The next chapter what been started and it really really should be up soon. I've hit a wall with my new one and I'm procrastinating with my Halloween costume so I'm going to be updating this to put off those. :D

**Author's Note:**

> SOOOO I hope you enjoyed it! *fans self a little* I know I did.
> 
> You know the drill by now chikadees. Rate and Review so that I may feed upon the love you thrust upon me!!!


End file.
